The TA
by breakmyownheart
Summary: Teacher's Assistant (noun): A student, usually graduate level, that assists a professor in the tasks of an undergraduate class. Tegan and Sara Quincest Quinlove Don't like, don't read.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So I posted this on Tumblr already. It's at quincestiswincesttheta if you want to read it there. My Tumblr is quincestiswincest. Reviews, comments, etc ALL welcome here or there!**

* * *

It was three and a half weeks into the semester, and Sara already felt like taking this class was a big mistake. She had done well enough in math in high school, but college classes are a much faster pace, and she could feel herself lagging behind. Perhaps it was the time gap that was causing the issue. Maybe if she had taken the math classes her freshman year, she would have been able to keep up. However, now that she was in her junior year, the formulas from her teens were long out of her memory, and the grades on her homework reflected this quickly.

Taking a deep breath, she walked down the hall toward her TA's office, looking at the numbers on each door. She stopped outside the one labeled 453, and her eyes slowly scanned the room from the open doorway. There were about six desks around the room, each with varying numbers of books stacked on top of them. More than six chairs filled the room, so students could sit when getting help. Her eyes settled on the back of the only person in the room: her TA.

The TA was wearing a fitted sleeveless t-shirt that went down far enough to reach the seat of her chair. Sara noticed a number of colorful tattoos on the TA's toned left arm and wondered if the right had some to match, but the TA's desk was in the far right corner of the room, so she did not have a view of that arm. The TA's choppy hair settled just past her chin, and Sara briefly wondered if she should turn around. Maybe it wasn't her TA. Maybe it was some other TA for another class. Maybe her TA was actually a very straight woman with blonde hair down to her waist and –

Sara chastised herself for being stereotypical about both straight and gay women. The woman in front of her did not have a rainbow flag draped across her, so there was no way to know her sexuality. And what did it matter? She was just here for help in math, not advice on her own feelings toward women.

She closed her eyes and inhaled, then exhaled when she opened them. Her hand softly rapped the door to her right. Immediately the TA looked up from whatever she was writing and they locked eyes.

Tegan heard a knock on the door behind her. Knowing that meant a student had come for help, she turned around to invite them in. Her breath stopped in her chest as she laid eyes on one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen. Not to be mistaken for someone who had never seen a pretty girl before, she only missed that first beat before greeting the student with a smile.

"Hi! Are you here for calc' one?"

"Uh... yeah. I... I haven't been doing so well on the homework. I think I just waited too long before picking it back up," Sara rambled with her eyes locked on the floor.

"No worries. That's what I'm here for. Come in and take a seat. Did you bring the homework with you?" Tegan watched as the student slowly made her way to a chair and dragged it toward her desk.

"Um, yes. I have it." Sara sat in the chair and pulled out her folder without making eye contact. Tegan felt the waves of nervousness radiate off of the student.

"Hey, don't feel bad. I failed calc' two the first time I took it. Now I have a bachelor's in math, and I'm working on a master's. Sometimes things don't click the first time. But like I said, that's what I'm here for. I wouldn't have failed if I had gotten help. And I'll help you so that you don't have to worry about making up a class like I did." Tegan enjoyed teaching and tutoring, but she knew how intimidating it was to ask for help, even if a person's job was for the purpose of helping; it was why she had failed that class herself.

"Really? You failed a math class before?" Sara finally looked up at her TA with wide eyes. "And they let you be a TA?" Sara felt her cheeks get warm when she realized that she had basically insulted the TA, but it didn't seem to faze her.

Tegan threw her head back laughing. "Yup! It just didn't click for me the first time. I got help, and I got through it. Some stuff clicks right away, and some stuff doesn't. That doesn't mean that you _can't_ get it. Or teach it." She smiled at the shy student. It had taken a great amount of willpower to hold back the wink that she had almost given out of reflex. She never had a problem keeping professional with students before. What was this?

Sara couldn't stop the corners of her lips from raising up in response. Not only had the TA made her feel better before they even started working, but her smile lit up the room. _At least I get some eye candy while I'm being forced through this math class,_ Sara thought. _Wait, what?_ Sara didn't know why she just thought of the TA as eye candy. No. She did know why, but she didn't want to think about why.

"So. Why don't we get started?" Tegan geared the topic toward the task at hand. Focusing on the beauty of math seemed like a good distraction from the beauty in front of her. They shared some jokes and light conversation as they went over some of the problems Sara had missed on the homework, and Tegan figured out quickly that the student's biggest hurdle was forgetting things from high school. She could tell that she had no issues with learning the material. Once they got to the end of the second homework assignment, Sara looked at her watch.

"Oh no! I've kept you way past your office hours. I'm so sorry!" Her eyes widened as she started trying to gather her things. She had been here for two hours, and the TA was supposed to be done almost an hour ago.

"Don't worry! I don't have anything else today. I wouldn't have stayed if I had somewhere to be." _Or if I had somewhere I'd rather be. Stop. Now. This is not appropriate._ Tegan didn't let her thoughts show on her face as she tried to calm the student. "I'm here to help, and I have the time to cover the last homework, too, if you want."

Sara slowed and looked back at the TA. "Are you sure? I don't want to keep you. I'm sure this isn't how you planned to spend your afternoon," she managed.

"Absolutely sure. Teaching is actually my favorite part of being a TA, and I don't want you to –" _leave yet_ "– get further behind what's covered in lecture." Tegan was kicking her own ass in her head for her thoughts. She really did want to help the student like she was supposed to, but she also really did want to ask the student out for coffee just to listen to her talk more. She knew she couldn't, because that was definitely a line that was not to be crossed as a TA. She could date other students, but not if they were in her class. There were way too many issues with the ethics of that, and there was even a policy against it at their college for that same reason.

But Tegan still felt drawn to the student. She was funny, smart, beautiful – she could go on, but she knew she shouldn't. _I've just been single for too long. That's it. The definition of my type walked through the door, and I've just been single for too long._ She knew that she would hit on the student if they had met in a coffee shop or at a bar, but they hadn't, so she couldn't. She just didn't want the session to end so soon today. Many students just drop the class this early in the semester if they're struggling, so she wanted to extend any time she had with her. It was for the student's benefit, or at least that's what she told herself.

"Well, if you really don't mind, I have the time." Sara slowly sat back down. She didn't know what to make of her thoughts. She really enjoyed listening to her voice, her passion about the subject, her personality. She thought maybe they would be friends if they weren't in this dichotomous situation. Just friends, though, because she needed to work more on figuring out what she was feeling and what she wanted before she would be willing to bring someone else into the equation. She wasn't even sure if the other person in that equation should be a woman. She never had any issue with other people being of different orientations, but she had no clue what her own feelings meant. However, this did not sate her desire to get to know the TA more.

They picked right back up on the third homework, but this one took another hour and a half to cover, because it was mostly new material. The sun was lowering in the sky as they finished the last problem. Tegan looked up at the student, satisfied that she would be prepared for the next lecture, but disappointed that she had no more excuses to keep her here today.

"Well, that seems about it. You seem to have a decent handle on what's been covered so far."

"Thank you so much. I feel a lot better now than I did earlier. I was actually thinking of dropping the course," Sara admitted.

A knot turned inside Tegan's stomach. She didn't want this to be the only time she would ever see the woman sitting next to her. "Well, I'm glad I seem to have changed your mind. From what I've seen, I know you can get through this class. And my office hours are posted on the website if you ever need more help." A conflict arose in her; she wanted the student to do well in the course, but she also wanted her to keep needing to come to her office for help. She had never wished a student to do poorly before, and the guilt of thinking that way ate at her insides. _I don't want her to fail. I just want to be the one to help her to pass._ Her reasoning helped deflect the majority of the guilt for now, but it only made her more worried about her feelings toward the student.

Sara packed her things into her backpack, and they both rose from their chairs. "Thank you again. Not just for explaining all that, but for staying, too. I know you didn't have to. I really appreciate it."

"Hey, it's no problem. It was a nice distraction from my own homework," Tegan chuckled. She hoped that the student thought she meant the material was the distraction, but if Tegan was honest with herself, she meant that the student was the distraction. "By the way, my name is Tegan. What's yours?"

"Sara. Nice to meet you Tegan," Sara smiled. "I should get going, though."

"Okay. See you around. Remember: I'm here."

"Thanks," Sara nodded and walked out of the room. Tegan's eyes were out of her control as they glanced over Sara's backside until she was out of sight. She sat back down in her chair, and her view settled on her own homework she had been doing before her afternoon took itself down a path she never thought it would. _Fuck me. – No really. – No! Stop!_ Her thoughts were not letting her focus on anything productive, so she gave up on working for the night. After packing her bag, she closed the door behind her and headed home.


	2. Chapter 2

The fourth homework was due the next day, so Tegan met with the professor to collect it and discuss how to grade certain parts. After their meeting, she took the papers back to her office to start going through them. By now, she knew the names of a few students that had a good handle on the material, so she always graded those first. It was an easy way for her to get focused on the task. As she shuffled through the papers to find those names, she stopped on one with now familiar handwriting.

 _Sara Clement_. Her name was scrawled in the top right corner of the paper. Not even acknowledging the existence of better judgment, she pulled the paper out of the stack and immediately looked it over. She could tell that much of the work had been erased and rewritten at least once. Scanning the first problem, she noted that the rewritten work was related to what they had covered the day before. Sara must have gone straight home and redone this assignment after already spending three and a half hours working with her yesterday. _She's really dedicated to getting this._ Tegan knew that this kind of dedication showed promise in regard to Sara's grade, but she couldn't deny the flutters in her gut from knowing this new bit of her personality.

The first semester of calculus was a prerequisite for many courses in many departments, and it was included in one of the options to fulfill the 'science sequence' for a Bachelor of Science for any major, so there was no way to tell the major of any student in the class without asking or seeing the official roster. If Sara was a math major, then this showed that she could definitely handle the amount of work. If she wasn't, and this was the amount of energy she spent on something other than her major, then Tegan could only imagine the passion, love, and time she spent on her true interests.

 _Hey brain. Let's not._ Sara's paper got set to the side in favor of grading the others to get her mind off of the path it seemed to be unable to stay away from. After getting through the quicker papers and about half of the rest, Tegan gave in to her curiosity and reached for Sara's paper. The corrections showed that she had a handle on the topics they had discussed, but she lost many of the points for the topics covered between the third and fourth assignments. Her grade was significantly better on this homework than the first three, but she would need more time to catch up on the new material.

Guilt piled in Tegan's stomach again for being happy that Sara still needed help. _But I'm not happy about that,_ she reasoned with herself. _I'm happy that I get to see her ag- NOPE._ Quickly marking the grade at the top of the paper, Tegan decided to take a break and get some food. She needed to get away from these thoughts before they went to a place that they really shouldn't. There were only two ways her feelings tugged: alleviate her guilt with the truth, or feel guilty to avoid letting her emotions go somewhere that could get her fired.

As her mind mulled over her predicament as best as it could without actually admitting anything to herself, her feet took her to a nearby burger joint for their Wednesday student discount. The owners were immigrants, and they put a Mediterranean spin on all of the food. Being a small business, it was a bit pricey for most students to eat there every day, so Tegan ate there once every week along with many other students taking advantage of the discount day. The line was long, as it usually was on Wednesdays, so she took her spot and waited. After getting her food, she found a small table in the corner to eat and avoid her office that still held Sara's homework.

Tegan spaced out while eating, taking her time and elongating her break, when she noticed a familiar set of curls in the line. The girl was talking to a friend, and her back was to Tegan, but she knew it was Sara. She shrunk into her seat, willing it open up and swallow her. She watched as Sara's head turned forward to read the menu board. A smudge of something blue graced Sara's jawline. _What is that?_ Sara's head started to turn in her direction, so Tegan swiftly tilted hers down and became extremely interested in her fries.

After deciding what she wanted, Sara looked around to see if any tables were open, but her eyes paused the moment she saw Tegan. She let her attention linger on her. Why was she here alone? Did she come here often and Sara had just never noticed before? Is she alone because she's single? _That does_ not _matter to me,_ Sara lied to herself. She was shaken from her thoughts by her friend; it was her turn to order.

Tegan chanced a glance back over at Sara. She wasn't looking in her direction anymore, so Tegan took the opportunity to dispose of her food. There wasn't much left of her meal or her appetite anymore. Stopping at the door, she darted her eyes back at Sara. She turned again to where Tegan had been sitting, and her shoulders seemed to slump slightly at the sight of the empty table. Deciding that the rest of the homework could be graded tomorrow, Tegan headed straight to her apartment where she spent the rest of the evening trying to concentrate on anything other than why Sara would be disappointed that she had left.

* * *

Yesterday, Tegan had finished the grading and returned the homework to the professor. Now she was walking to her office for her office hours with one thought on her mind – TGIF. She liked having her office hours in the afternoon with morning classes. If someone came in, then she got to do what she loved: teach. If no one came in, then she got a couple hours to work on homework. Either way, the rest of her day would be relaxed and enjoyable. Today, a new student came in for help, and she got to teach.

Sara walked down the same hall she had two days prior. She had done a pretty good job of convincing herself that her sole purpose here was to work on understanding the subject and definitely not to get to know Tegan more. She turned to enter the office, but as soon as she saw another student with Tegan, she turned away and flattened her back to the wall next to the door.

Tegan saw movement out of the corner of her eye and looked at the doorway. "You work on that problem. I'll be right back," she instructed the student. She walked over to the door and looked down the hall. No one to the left. She looked to the right and found Sara with wide eyes and rosy cheeks. Tegan's eyebrows raised. "Hey. You okay?"

"Um. Yeah. Sorry. I, uh, I didn't realize you were with someone. I can come back Monday. Yeah. Monday. I'll go," Sara spoke without blinking or breathing.

"No. Come on in. Just grab a chair at another desk. He'll be done shortly, and we can go over whatever you need." Tegan waved her into the room, trying to mask her confusion over Sara's behavior.

"Are...are you sure?"

"Totally." Tegan waited for her to enter before heading back to the other student, and she sat down at her desk only after Sara settled into the one next to hers. Her eyes continued to ensure that Sara hadn't left while she finished with him. It only took about fifteen minutes, and the student gathered his things and left.

"So, Sara. I suspect you're here about homework four?" Tegan broke the silence after a few moments.

"Yeah. Homework four. That's why I'm here." _It has nothing to do with the way I feel around you,_ Sara concluded to herself. She was set on keeping everyone at arm's-length until she figured herself out more, but the way Tegan said her name was starting to put tiny cracks in her resolve.

Sara had dated a couple boys in high school, but it was short both times. Kissing them didn't arise any emotions within her, so she had no reason to hang onto them. She tried to date another guy in her first year of college. She waited and made sure that he made her feel something before even agreeing to a date. He was funny, kind, smart, and she admired his compassionate view of the world. Convinced that this time would be different, they shared a nice dinner, but when he kissed her at the end of the night, she felt nothingness in her heart and body.

Girls always made her nervous. Well, some girls. Really nice girls, really pretty girls. She just thought that she wanted their friendship. She wanted to emulate them to better herself. She wanted to be like them. It wasn't until she was 18 that she realized that maybe, just maybe, she wanted to be _in_ 'like' with them.

She had allowed her thoughts to explore this new idea, even though it wasn't actually new. She was raised in a very open-minded household. She knew her parents would love her and accept her no matter who she brought home for the holidays, even if they needed a bit to adjust to the idea. She was never religious, so that didn't hinder her emotions. But she had never really known anyone who was anything but straight, so she had no clue how to navigate her own thoughts and feelings. She had no one else's anecdotes to compare to, no other "finding myself" stories to relate to.

So Sara made the decision to avoid dating until she figured out what she wanted. Stories online were helpful, but not too helpful. She related to stories of women discovering their love for other women just as much as she related to stories of people discovering their asexuality. Others wrote about being "demisexual", only feeling sexual attraction after romantic attraction, and these weren't far from her experiences, either. She didn't feel like these stories were getting her very far with her own journey, but she had come to the conclusion that she was definitely not fully heteronormative.

"Did you bring the homework?" Tegan snapped Sara out of her thoughts. They worked through the points Sara had missed, but it was quicker than the previous meeting. Sara picked up the material faster, and there wasn't as much to go over. Before she could leave, Tegan stopped her.

"Hey, just so you know, my office hours are for all students in the class. If there's ever anyone in here, just grab a seat. I'll see you." Tegan took a breath before continuing. "And if you don't feel comfortable with that, then we could, I don't know, make appointments. If you want. More like tutoring." She had no clue why she said that out loud. She was fully allowed to make appointments, but she knew she shouldn't with Sara. It was bound to only wind Tegan up more, when nothing could come from it.

"Really? I, um, that'd be great. Do you mean like once a week?" Sara was taken aback by the offer, but she knew she would need the help. She ignored the fact that the guarantee of private meetings thrilled her.

"Whatever works for you. If you want to meet every day you have lecture to cover it more in depth, we can do that." _Stop. Fucking. Saying. Things. Mouth._ Tegan yelled at herself until Sara's eyes lit up slightly. Now her mind wondered why they did that.

"Sure!" Sara squeaked. Her breath stopped, and she faced the ground as her cheeks grew warmer. "I mean, yeah. That'd be really helpful. Thank you."

"Well, it's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday. What time are you available those days? I can do any time after my office hours for all of them." _Just helping a student. Totally fine. No problem. I can handle this._

"Calc' is my last class those days. So whenever, I guess." Sara shrugged her shoulders. She didn't want to seem difficult with how generous Tegan was being with her time.

"If it works for you, My office hours end at 5 on Monday, Wednesday, Friday. So how about 5pm on each day? We can meet here."

"That's so generous. Thank you. I will be here." Sara gathered her things. "See you Monday!"

"Yup! See you then." After Sara left, Tegan realized that she had never really looked forward to Mondays as much as she did now.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next several weeks, they met to cover each day's lecture. After the first couple of weeks, Tegan could tell that Sara was not only caught up, but she had one of the highest grades in the class. She was understanding the new material sufficiently enough that she didn't really need the extra help anymore. Not that Tegan would mention this. That would mean the possibility of ending their meetings, and that was not something that she had any interest in doing.

Their relationship grew into a comfortable friendship while they were in Tegan's office. Neither had so much as hinted at the idea of spending any time together outside of the meetings. Sara had long since stopped the majority of her introspection. Her thoughts had shifted from figuring out her own sexuality to figuring out Tegan's. She told herself that if Tegan was in fact gay, then perhaps she could confide in her regarding her own confusion. However, that excuse hadn't been used in weeks, as her attention had been solely on Tegan for a while.

Tegan had accepted her crush on Sara about a week before the midterm. Her feelings toward women had long ago been established, so she didn't have any confusion in that respect. Tegan came out to her parents when she was 16, and she had had a couple girlfriends in high school after that. She only had one relationship in college, but it had lasted from the middle of her freshman year to the end of her junior year. Her ex-girlfriend had graduated and gotten a job offer in California, while Tegan was staying here for her senior year and graduate school. She was completely willing to have a long distance relationship, but her ex had no interest in the idea.

Needless to say, Tegan's heart was broken. She threw herself into her coursework and managed to pick up a job in her senior year as undergraduate research fellow under a professor. Once she graduated, she switched to being a TA, because she preferred to teach than to do research. Her master's thesis was enough research on its own. She focused on the research on weekends and let classes and office hours fill her weeks. It wasn't until she met Sara that she realized she had been over her ex for quite some time. Now, her only hindrance with her crush was regarding the ethics of her feelings and their academic relationship.

The semester was more than half over, and a thought kept coming back to Tegan's mind for consideration. The college policy only stated that TAs could not fraternize with students in the classes that they were currently assigned to. This meant that once the semester was over, she had full permission to ask Sara out, but that was not without its own set of difficulties. They had discussed many things outside of math at this point, but orientation was not one of them.

Sara knew that Tegan was an only child, and Tegan knew that Sara had an older brother named Ted. They were both from different nearby cities, and only went home for the actual holidays, not for entire breaks. They both lived in studio apartments near campus, because it was much cheaper than the dorms. Sara's parents paid for hers, and Tegan paid for her own with her TA stipend. They had shared their favorite bands, and Tegan learned that Sara was an art major, but would rather do the math classes for the Bachelor of Science than the foreign language classes for the Bachelor of Arts. One thing Sara hadn't mentioned anything about was her dating history, so Tegan didn't know if she was even available, much less interested in women.

If Tegan did ask her out at the end of the semester and Sara was straight, then that could put a very awkward strain on their budding friendship. Maybe if she just stuck with a coffee date. No – just coffee, not a date. She wanted to keep Sara as a friend if that's all she could have, and casually getting coffee after she wasn't her TA anymore would be the perfect opportunity to delve a little deeper into the questions that could be considered inappropriate before then. Pleased with her new course of action, Tegan continued to get to know Sara on a more platonic level during their sessions.

As the semester grew closer to an end, less time was spent on material, and more time was spent hanging out. They developed a routine. Sara would bring other schoolwork with her, and they would just spend the majority of the evening in the office. Sometimes they would both do unrelated homework, sometimes they would go over something Sara didn't get in class, and sometimes they would just talk. They shared new music with each other, discussed TV shows, watched funny YouTube videos, and learned more about each other. Sara showed Tegan some of her sketches for her drawing classes, and Tegan told Sara about the base topic of her master's thesis: the Mandelbrot Set.

* * *

A few weeks before the end of the semester, both of them had forgotten to bring any snacks. They were working on their own homework separately when Tegan's stomach interrupted with a loud growl.

"Apparently, I have angered my stomach by forgetting to bring anything to eat," Tegan laughed with Sara. "Do you mind if we cut out early tonight?"

"It's Wednesday, so the Huddle has their discount. Do you want to just go there?" Sara suggested without concern. They were friends now, and friends go get food together.

"Uh, are you sure?" Tegan furrowed her brow.

"Yeah. I could use a burger. Let's go." Sara was already packing her things. Tegan quickly followed suit. They put on their jackets and backpacks and headed out. Snow had not yet fallen, but the ground was covered in leaves. Their breath was starting to be visible in the cool night air as they chatted on the way. At one point in her story, Sara turned around in front of Tegan, so she was walking backwards to the restaurant.

"...and I don't know about that but –" She was cut off as she tripped over a root hidden beneath the leaves. Her arms reached out to grab Tegan's coat to steady herself, but she only made Tegan fall down with her. Sara's backpack broke her fall, but she would not have noticed any pain anyway, as she now had Tegan laying directly on top of her.

Neither took a breath. Sara's fists were still gripped tightly around the lapels of Tegan's jacket as they stared at each other with wide eyes. _Fuck it._ Mustering a bit of thoughtless courage, Sara slowly closed the gap between their lips. Their eyes fluttered shut immediately as the sensation overwhelmed them both. Reeling from something she had never felt before, Sara started to move her lips against Tegan's.

Tegan responded when she felt the movement against her mouth. It had been so long since she was with anyone that she melted into the kiss. Nothing registered in her brain except for the smooth lips on hers and the sparks traveling through her skin. A soft gasp met her ears, and her eyes shot open. Tegan jumped up as quickly as they had fallen.

"I can't – we can't –" Tegan tried to get her brain to work, but she was interrupted once Sara stood.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry. Oh my god. Oh my god. I shouldn't have – I'm so sorry." Sara's eyes were saucers and threatened to spill the tears that were already forming. She turned to run, but Tegan grabbed her jacket sleeve and whipped her back around. The force caused Sara to collide into Tegan's body once again, causing both to pause like they had on the ground.

Tegan clenched the sleeve, but her eyes softened as she brought her other hand up to Sara's cheek. This time Tegan leaned in to place a gentle kiss on her lips, then she broke away and rested her forehead on Sara's.

"Please don't run. Please don't leave," Tegan whispered without yet opening her eyes.

"I don't understand," Sara's voice quietly broke.

Tegan lifted her head from Sara's and took a deep breath. Their eyes finally met as Tegan released the jacket. A single tear escaped down to Tegan's fingers as Sara searched her face for answers.

"I'm sorry I reacted like that. There's...a policy...we can't...I'm sorry." Tegan's thumb wiped away the tear from Sara's cheek. "Please don't run though. I...I do...like you. I just...I can't right now."

"What do you mean? A policy?" Sara's mind was trying to process everything that had just happened, so she was slow on processing what Tegan said.

Tegan sighed and took a small step back, finally removing her hand from Sara's face. "There's a policy that says TAs can't...'fraternize'...with students in their class. Because favoritism and ethics and stuff."

"Wait. You _like_ me?" Sara's eyebrows raised as she was catching up to the conversation. Tegan hung her head and nodded. "What does _that_ mean?"

Tegan lifted her head. "It...it means...I like you. I don't know. It doesn't matter right now, though, because of the policy. Sara opened her mouth to reply, but her stomach voiced its opinion.

"Let's get food. I think we need to talk." Sara turned toward the restaurant once more. Tegan nodded and followed, but this time both were cautious about where they stepped.


	4. Chapter 4

The two didn't speak outside of ordering their food. When it was ready, they sat at the back corner table to get a bit of privacy. They slowly picked at their food without making eye contact. Neither wanted to break the silence by initiating the conversation that they knew was both necessary and inevitable.

Tegan was simultaneously thrilled and terrified. Sara had kissed her, and her heart hadn't yet fully slowed from the effect. However, a weak, dull ache had also settled into her chest. Not only did she know that nothing could happen for at least another month – _if_ anything were to happen – but she had put her feelings out there, to which Sara had yet to respond. That scared her more than the idea of waiting for the semester to end before tasting Sara's lips again, because there was no guarantee of it even after the time had passed. She wasn't sure if Sara would even want to continue their friendship.

The heart on the other side of the table was beating significantly faster. Sara had broken her own rule. She had developed feelings for someone and brought that person into it. She didn't know how to put her feelings into words; the only one that seemed to fit was 'new'. The warmth in her chest when Tegan smiled at her, the excitement of siting in a room doing homework just because she was there with her, the wondering of what Tegan was doing whenever they weren't together. It was all new. But the silky way her lips slid over Sara's had lighted a fire in her belly that she didn't think was going to be extinguished by anything other than another taste. She looked up at Tegan. Her eyes were on her food, but Sara saw the upset and conflict in the lines on her face.

"I'm sorry...I don't know what to say." Sara hoped Tegan would take the initiative. Tegan closed her eyes and took a deep breath before meeting Sara's.

"I don't really either. I mean, I don't know what _can_ be said. I could lose my job if...if anyone saw us...and you could get dropped from your class. I don't want either of those things to happen..." Tegan trailed off. She chewed her bottom lip as her eyes scanned the room.

"Because of the policy? They would do that?" Sara's eyebrows shot up.

"Yeah. Like, it's the worst case scenario. They can do anything 'up to and including' that stuff. It's considered cheating." Tegan shifted in her seat and rubbed her hands between her knees. "And with how much your grade has changed from those first few assignments, they would have all the paperwork they wanted to show whatever they wanted."

"But that's just because I had forgotten my high school math! Once I got it back, the rest was just studying. I mean, yeah, I might have a _slightly_ better grade because of you, but so would anyone else who has gone to the TA almost every day. It's not my fault that other people don't get help when they need it, and it certainly isn't yours." Sara did not like her academic career threatened. She didn't see how working hard for the whole semester could be chalked up to cheating, especially something as unscrupulous as offering herself to the TA. "You don't grade the tests, right?"

"No? I don't ever see them, before or after you guys take them." Tegan had no clue where Sara was going with that question.

"See? I've done well on the tests, and you couldn't have done anything to those."

"That's...that's not how it works. No one would look at that. It's just, you broke a rule so here's the consequences." Tegan glanced back at the door as she saw two physics professors walk in. " _Shit!_ " she whispered as she tucked her head down and tried to hide her face with her arm.

"What? What happened?" Sara crouched a bit in reaction to Tegan's hiding.

"Two professors walked in. We can't be seen here together." Tegan knew she was acting paranoid, but her mind was still racing from having to take in so much in less than an hour.

"Do you want to go?" Sara tilted her head forward.

"Yes. No. I mean, I don't want to be seen, but I don't think...that...we've...talked enough." Tegan looked around again, but the professors had left, and she sighed at the relief.

"We can go. It's okay. I understand." Sara slumped her shoulders like she had when Tegan snuck away from this very table just after they had met. It struck a chord in Tegan to see Sara look so dejected by her words and actions. Her mouth was moving before she could process what she was saying.

"Come on. I live two blocks away," she offered. _WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT._

"Really?" Sara's eyes brightened, but she managed to hold back the grin that was nearly forcing itself on her face.

"Yeah. To talk. So we can talk. Talking." Tegan's recovery would have been more convincing if she weren't still trying to figure out how her mouth said words that she didn't tell it to.

"Okay..." Sara furrowed her brow at Tegan's behavior, but she did not want her to take back the offer.

They cleared their table after putting their leftovers in bags to take with. Tegan led the way out of the restaurant in the direction of her apartment. _What am I doing? I shouldn't be doing this. She should go home. Not to my home. Why are we going to my place? Why did I invite her over?_ Tegan's thoughts were on repeat, but she made no attempt to stop them from where they were heading. After a five minute walk, they came upon Tegan's building, and Sara followed her up a flight of stairs to the second floor and down the shared porch to the last apartment. The numbers '205' that hung on the door were dingy from years of weather.

"Well, here we are." Tegan unlocked the door and stepped in. She slipped around the door to allow Sara to follow and closed it behind her. Tegan left Sara for a moment to put their food in the fridge.

"Wow, you do live really close." Sara looked around the room, taking in just how _Tegan_ it was. A worn but comfortable-looking couch sat against the wall to her left with a wooden coffee table in front of it. The table was covered in scuffs to tell its age, but it looked solid. A TV was opposite the couch on a stand that appeared to be from IKEA. The kitchen was to the right, but she couldn't see very far into it. A few posters and pictures were spread throughout the walls so they weren't completely bare. Sara breathed deeply. It _smelled_ like Tegan. She didn't want to ever leave.

"Yeah. I lived farther from campus when I was an undergrad, and I do not miss riding the bus for 20 minutes just to get to campus." Tegan set her backpack on the floor and put her coat on top of it, and Sara followed suit. Then she kicked off her shoes, leaving them by the door.

"Oh! Sorry." Sara removed her shoes and set them by Tegan's, then she looked back at Tegan. They were again waiting for the other to start. After a few moments, Tegan sighed and took the initiative.

"Come on. Let's sit. We do need to talk, especially now that we're here." Tegan went to the couch and sat on the far end, but angled toward the middle. Her right leg curled under her as her left hung off the front of the middle seat. She watched as Sara sat at the other end and mirrored her position, leaving only a few inches between their knees.

"Oh my god, this is like the comfiest couch I've ever sat on." Sara leaned her side against the back cushions as she melted into them and closed her eyes. The scent of Tegan surrounded her, and it felt like Tegan was hugging her all over.

"Ha! That's why I got it. I like to just come home and relax, and a bad couch is not relaxing." Tegan smiled at Sara's enjoyment of her furniture. She wasn't sure why, but she felt proud. Sara's eyes opened and stared into Tegan's.

"So..." Sara began.

"So..." Tegan replied.

"Tell me about this policy." Sara sat back up to listen with one eyebrow raised.

"Uh. What I said is pretty much it. Nothing is allowed beyond the typical TA/student relationship until the end of the semester. Honestly, even having you here is probably breaking that rule, even just as friends." Tegan's eyes went to her lap as she said the last part.

"But you don't want to be 'just friends'...do you?" Sara tilted her head down to get a better look at Tegan's face.

"...I." Tegan closed her eyes. "I...can't because..."

"Tegan." Sara reached to lift Tegan's chin with the tips of her fingers. "I'm not asking about the policy. I'm asking about you." She looked into Tegan's eyes as they searched hers.

"No." Tegan shook her head softly. "No I don't. I don't want to be just friends." Her breath shuddered, and she could feel electricity coming from Sara's hand. She took it in her own hand and cupped it against her cheek, still waiting for Sara to give confirmation that she wasn't alone in how she felt.

Sara didn't yet know her own identity, but she had quickly grown to hold Tegan as someone significant to her, even though they had only known each other for a little over two months. They had spent hours together almost every day in that time, and Sara had already forgotten what it was like without that. She knew she wanted Tegan in her life, but she hadn't realized until today how much Tegan had grown to want her, too. Sara had already broken her own rule today, so breaking another wasn't as concerning as it probably should have been.

"Then forget the policy," Sara sighed as a small smile rested on her lips. Tegan clutched her hand.

"Is that what _you_ want?" Tegan was still divided, but her resolve became weaker as the static from Sara's skin on her skin flowed through her.

Sara bit her lip before nodding, "Yeah. That's...that's what I want. You're what I want."

Tegan didn't wait. She rushed her lips to Sara's for the second time that day, but there was no hesitation this time as both immediately fell into the kiss. The shocks took over Tegan's skin once again, and she craved more. She cradled Sara's bottom lip between her own and slowly dragged the tip of her tongue across the edge of it. A puff of air came from Sara's mouth as it opened enough to let Tegan in.

Sara felt lighter than she had ever felt before. A soft noise came through her throat, and Tegan stopped being as gentle. Sara timidly massaged Tegan's tongue. Her hand was still nestled between Tegan's cheek and hand, so she slipped it further back to rest in the hair at the nape of her neck. Tegan's hand moved down to her knee, burning a fire underneath it, and her fingers gripped Tegan's short hair from the sensation.

Tegan was losing her self-control, and Sara tugging at her hair wasn't helping. She stifled a short groan with Sara's mouth, and her hand began delicately tracing up Sara's outer thigh. Before she reached her hip, she lifted her hand to rest it on Sara's waist while her other hand went to the small of her back. Tegan shifted closer, and Sara's missing hand gripped her side. Her breathing was picking up, and the hand on Sara's waist started to gently caress her over her shirt. Sara offered a quiet moan, making Tegan need to hear another.

Sara's body was on fire. The flames in her belly had traveled lower, and she didn't know if she could stop. She didn't know if she wanted to stop. Tegan's hand on her waist went a little lower, too, but stopped at the hem of her shirt. When she felt the tips of Tegan's fingers ghost over her skin, she was lost. Another louder moan escaped from her, and Tegan's entire hand slid under her shirt. Suddenly, she felt hot, not from the fires spread throughout her body, but as though the room were warmer. Her clothes were making her feel restricted, and she didn't know how to deal with it. Sara's head spun, giving her the need to lay down.

Tegan felt her leaning back, but Sara's hands pulled her with. As Sara laid back against the fluffy arm of the couch, Tegan moved her other hand from Sara's back to the seat to hold herself up. Realizing the position that they were now in, Tegan continued stroking Sara's skin when she broke the kiss without pulling away.

"I...We...should...take things...slow...should...slow..." Tegan panted without opening her eyes. Her fingers still traced designs on Sara's waist, feeding her growing need for contact.

Sara's breathing was a bit erratic as she tried to process the words said to her. She had never felt this way when kissing anyone else. She didn't want to stop. She wanted Tegan to create more fires within her and quench each of them. But she knew that Tegan was right, not only for the reasons Tegan probably had, but for her own reasons, too.

"Your...your hand...isn't helping...or agreeing...with you." Sara spoke between breaths.

Tegan responded by gently squeezing her side and slowly pulling her hand out from Sara's shirt. Sara's hands fell as Tegan sat back up and leaned against the cushions the way Sara had when they first sat down. They stared at each other for a moment while they both tried to catch their breath. A grin rose on Tegan's cheeks, and Sara returned it.

"How are you so...frustratingly perfect?" Sara mused. Tegan had stopped exactly when Sara had started to lose her concern with how far they were taking it today. She was fine – no – ecstatic with everything that occurred, but she knew that she wasn't going to be able to stop herself from allowing things to continue beyond a point that she would later regret, and she didn't want to regret anything with Tegan.

"I've definitely been called frustrating before, but perfect is new," Tegan chuckled. "So. I take it we're good then?"

"Yeah," Sara giggled. "We're good." Her heart warmed that after all that had happened, Tegan was still thinking about making sure that Sara was okay with it.

"Then come here." Tegan nodded her head away from Sara, beckoning her over. Sara bit her lip through her grin and slowly moved toward Tegan. Once she was close enough, Tegan wrapped her arms around Sara in a warm hug. Sara returned it and melted into the embrace. She nuzzled into her neck, and with a few embers still smoldering in her, she licked her lips and pressed them to Tegan's neck. Tegan's pulse beat beneath them. Curious, Sara softly moved them over the spot until she was giving the artery a soft suckle. The beating quickened, and Sara's lips felt the vibration of Tegan's moan.

"That's...that's not encouraging the 'slow' thing." Tegan softly whined, missing Sara's lips immediately after they were removed when Sara sat back to meet her eyes.

"Sorry." Sara's smirk did not match her words.

"Oh, I bet." Tegan matched Sara's smirk. She looked at the coffee table to find the remote and grabbed it. "Here, let's watch something. You pick." Tegan sat back against the couch, keeping one arm around Sara. Sara was more than happy to spend the rest of the evening snuggled against Tegan.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day, Sara found Tegan in her office at the usual time. She plopped down in the chair at the desk where she always sat. Tegan looked up at her and smiled. Sara noticed that it was a different smile than before, but she liked this one better. It seemed...warmer.

"Hey," Tegan greeted. A soft pink rose to Sara's cheeks.

"Hi," she squeaked. "I mean, hi." _Super cool. Super smooth._

Tegan loved that she had this effect on Sara, but she was glad that they were alone in the room. She really didn't want to appear suspicious to anyone that would care. She wanted to tell Sara that she was cute, but that was definitely off-limits while they were at school.

They settled into their usual routine with an unspoken agreement to keep everything casual and appropriate, just in case someone walked by or came in. Tegan worked on homework, and Sara stared at hers. She understood a while ago that she had developed a crush on Tegan, but it wasn't until yesterday that she understood that this was not like her previous crushes. She had had feelings for a few people over the last couple years, but it was always a sort of 'brain crush'. Sara didn't actually have any romantic interest in the person; she just wanted to listen to them talk, because she felt they were very intellectual or had an interesting perspective on life. This was completely different. On top of any mental or emotional attraction, Sara had a physical attraction to Tegan, _and_ it was reciprocated. A ringtone brought her out of her thoughts.

"Hey, sorry." Tegan was typing something on her phone. "I have to leave early today. My friend is begging me to dog-sit for her so she can go on a date with some dude she met last weekend." She put her phone on her desk. "Is that okay?"

"Of course. I wasn't really getting anywhere with this anyway." Sara checked her own phone and realized that she had been staring at the same page for an hour. "I should probably go eat something, anyway."

"Cool. And...um...I was wondering." Tegan scanned the empty room as though a dean would pop out from behind a trashcan. "I was wondering if – for tomorrow, I mean – if you would like to..."

"205, right?" Sara raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Tegan sighed and grinned. "5 o'clock still?"

"Sounds good." Sara gathered her things. She sent Tegan a smirk before heading out of the room.

* * *

It was Friday, and Tegan was packing up her things after the last student left from her office. Her office hours ended at 4:30pm, so she had enough time to grab food and still make it home by 5pm. There was a little Mexican place in the same strip as the Mediterranean burger joint, so she got two orders of the taco plate. She didn't know what Sara preferred, but tacos were usually safe, and real Mexican food was always better than cheap fast food. Her fingers gripped the handle of the plastic bag holding two boxes of food and headed to her apartment.

A grin played on Tegan's lips as she thought about how she was bringing dinner to Sara at her place. It was the first time, but it felt natural. Everything with Sara felt natural. Tegan wondered where Sara was waiting for her as she climbed the stairs to her floor, but stopped when she hit the top. Sara was standing at the end of the deck, leaning against the railing with her back to Tegan. Her backpack was on the ground against the wall, and she seemed to be watching the traffic from the road on the other side of the building.

Tegan made a quick decision and quietly crept toward Sara. With no indication that she had been heard, she slowly brought her mouth up to Sara's ear, leaving a few inches so she wouldn't be heard until she wanted to be.

"Hey," Tegan husked.

"HOLY SHIT-FUCK!" Sara jumped and turned around, clutching her right hand over her heart. Tegan guffawed at the reaction but brought Sara into a hug. "You fucking bitch! You nearly gave me a heart attack." Sara started to laugh despite her words and wrapped her arms around Tegan.

"Yeah, but it was sooo worth it." Tegan nuzzled into Sara's neck as her own laughter died down into a chuckle. The muscles in Sara's neck slightly tensed against her nose, so she lifted her head and furrowed her brow at Sara. "You okay?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah. Sorry. I just, I'm still...still getting used to this. I guess." Sara bit her lip.

"Hey! No worries. I got ahead of myself. I said 'slow', and I meant it." Tegan gave Sara a light squeeze and released her from the hug. She pulled out her keys and opened the apartment, while Sara grabbed her backpack and followed.

"What's in the bag?" Sara pointed to the plastic bag Tegan had set on the coffee table.

"Dinner! I'm starving. Are tacos okay?" Tegan asked, removing her coat and shoes. Sara removed hers, but a smile lifted her cheeks at the word 'tacos'.

"Yes! Thank you! I'm always in the mood for tacos. Thank you." Sara didn't breathe during her reply, bringing Tegan her own smile.

"Cool! Let's eat!" Tegan grabbed the bag of food and sat on the couch. Sara sat and turned on the TV to select a show while Tegan doled out the food and utensils. They chatted some while eating, but most of their attention was set on the food and the TV. Before long, the nearly-empty trays of food were discarded on the coffee table from two satisfied stomachs.

Tegan felt eyes on her. She looked over in time to catch Sara turn back to the show.

"Yes?" Tegan raised one eyebrow. Sara glanced at Tegan with just her eyes, then she tilted her head down and shrugged her shoulders. "Hey. What's up?" Sara shrugged her shoulders again. Tegan sighed and turned off the show. She turned her body to face Sara, sitting in the same position she had just two days prior. "Talk to me. What's going on? Are you okay? Do you want to go?"

"No!" Sara quickly stifled the last question and slowly turned toward Tegan. "I mean, no. I don't want to go. Unless you want me to go."

"Not at all." Tegan shook her head. "I like having you here as long as you want to be here." She smiled. "But I get the feeling that you want to...say something?"

"I. I just." Sara sighed. "I'm not sure how to do this." She looked at her lap.

"Do what?" Tegan's voice was soft, but her brows furrowed deeply. She didn't want to upset Sara more, but she had no clue what she was talking about.

"This." Sara waved her finger between the two of them. "Like, if I want to..."

"If you want to...what?" Tegan tilted her head down to try to find Sara's eyes. Sara met hers without bringing her face up.

"Sit with you. Or something. I don't know." Sara's eyes darted back to her lap as though the hem of her pants was now very interesting.

"You are sitting with me. Wait, do you mean like the other day?" Tegan dug to figure out what Sara meant. Sara simply nodded. "Hey, you can always snuggle with me. Well, when we're here. Not at school obviously. But you don't have to ask or anything when we're alone. I thought that's kind of why we met here anyway."

"I know that's why we're here." Sara finally looked up at Tegan. "I'm just being weird. I'm sorry."

"Nope. Apology not accepted, because apology not needed." Tegan waved her hand. "I'm pretty fucking weird, too, in case you haven't figured it out yet." She chuckled at her own joke, and a small grin showed itself on Sara's face. "But seriously. You don't have to worry about that kind of stuff. We're taking it slow, but I'm always ready for cuddling."

"What about kisses?" A light pink hue brushed over Sara's cheeks.

" _Definitely_ always ready for kisses." Tegan smirked. Sara bit her lip before leaning toward her.

"So can I kiss you?" Sara licked her lips.

"You never have to ask." Tegan licked her own and closed the remaining distance between them, but she stopped short by a few inches. Sara's eyes flicked between Tegan's eyes and lips, then she met Tegan's mouth with her own. Their lips moved in sync for a few moments. When Sara stopped to take a breath, Tegan took the opportunity to lean back a bit. A thought had come to her mind.

"Sara? Can I ask you something?" Tegan watched Sara sit back.

"Should I be worried?" Sara tried to lighten the mood, but her nervousness came through her voice.

"Not at all. I want you to know that no matter what your answer is, I'm totally okay with it. I'm just curious, but I promise that any answer is completely cool." Tegan felt the anxiety radiating from Sara, but she needed to know – not for her own sake so much as for Sara's.

"Now I'm actually kind of worried." The corners of Sara's mouth dropped and her eyes grew. Tegan reached and took one Sara's hands in hers.

"Sara, have you ever...dated a girl before?" Tegan squeezed the hand she held. "I mean, it's okay if you haven't! Like I said, it's totally cool." While no wetness built in her eyes, Sara's face scrunched like she wanted to cry. "Hey! Don't cry! It's okay!" Tegan lifted Sara's hand to her lips and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of it. Sara didn't respond, so she continued. "I just don't want to...push you? You've...it seems like maybe you haven't. And if you haven't, I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Finally, Sara shook her head.

"No...no I haven't. I'm sorry." Sara gripped Tegan's hand tighter. "You must think I'm some sort of..."

"No," Tegan interrupted. "I don't even want you to finish that thought, much less that sentence. As long as you're in this, then I am, too. We can go at your pace."

"But that's not fair to you. You don't deserve to be with someone who is just playing 'catch-up'." Sara looked at her lap.

"I deserve someone I like who likes me back." Tegan kissed Sara's hand again. "And I think I found one of those, right?" Sara met her eyes and nodded a little. "Then I'm good." Tegan thought for a moment and smirked. "Besides." She shifted closer to Sara and brought her lips to her ear. "I hear I'm a pretty good teacher."

Tegan desperately wanted to do more to Sara's ear, but she left it with a soft kiss to stay true to keeping with Sara's pace. Sara gasped at the contact and words. Tegan sat back and smirked.


	6. Chapter 6

The two decided to wait until Monday to see each other again, not only to keep things slow, but also to avoid suspicion. To ensure that no one who could possibly care about the fraternization policy would find out until after it was no longer applicable, they would keep to their schedule of only seeing each other at their usual times. Their weekday evenings had been spent together for most of the semester already, so no one would realize they had changed meeting places, but their weekends usually involved friends and sometimes family, all of whom would notice their absences quickly.

Monday seemed to take forever for Sara. The weekend was as busy as usual, but today her professors seemed to drone on slower than ever before. As soon as her last class finished, she ran out of the building. She still had an hour and a half before she was supposed to be at Tegan's place, but she wanted to bring a surprise. Once she was on the bus, Sara pulled out her phone to text Tegan.

S: _Don't eat. Don't grab food._

It was less than a 10-minute bus ride to her apartment from campus, but the walk was about 20 minutes, and she wanted the extra time. Safely back at her apartment, Sara went to work. The vegetables she had chopped this morning went into a pan with a bit of oil, and the rice was in the rice cooker. While art was Sara's major, she loved cooking, too. She viewed it as another form of art to share and appreciate that happened to be edible. Another pan sizzled with chicken laying in teriyaki sauce. Sara took a moment to mentally thank her parents for getting her kitchenware last Christmas. When she was putting all the food into containers to take to Tegan's, her phone beeped.

T: _Why?_

S: _Just don't. It's a surprise._

Sara finished and put the containers into a bag. Checking the time, she saw she was running late and grabbed her backpack to head back to the bus stop. The ride to the stop closest to Tegan's place was a few minutes longer than her ride home, so she got there a little after 5pm. She knew Tegan would already be home when she arrived, so she knocked on the door instead of waiting.

"Hey!" Tegan smiled when she opened the door. Sara handed her the bag of food and removed her coat and shoes. "What's all this? It smells delicious!" Tegan held the bag handles to the sides of her face and inhaled.

"That is my 'thank you' for dinner on Friday." Sara took the bag and went to the kitchen. She set it on the counter and looked around at the cupboards.

"Plates?" Tegan raised an eyebrow. Sara nodded and bit her lip.

"Yeah, and like, serving spoons? Silverware?" Sara asked.

"That drawer." Tegan pointed to the top one in a column of drawers. Sara looked through its contents and retrieved what she thought would do. With the three containers on the counter and two plates from Tegan, she placed rice first, then vegetables, then chicken on each plate. She turned around with a plate in each hand.

"Dinner is served." Sara smiled as Tegan's jaw dropped to the floor.

"You _cooked_?" Tegan met Sara's eyes as she nodded. "For _me_?" Sara nodded again.

"Is that okay?" Sara bit her lip through her grin.

"Very okay! This looks awesome! Thank you!" Tegan took a plate, and they sat down at the little table that only had two chairs. "Wait!" Tegan shot up and ran to the fridge. "Do you want...I have Coke and orange juice and milk. And water of course."

"A Coke is fine. Thanks." Sara watched as Tegan grabbed two cans. She kept the box of soda on the bottom shelf of the fridge, so her ass was pointed directly at Sara. When she stood back up, Sara quickly shot her head up to Tegan's face, but she had been caught.

"Enjoy the view?" Tegan smirked as she strolled back to the table with drinks. Sara looked down and covered her eyes with a hand. She nodded as her ears grew warm. Tegan bent down to the nearest red ear. "Look all you want. I take it as a compliment." _And I've stared at your ass plenty._ She pressed a chaste kiss to Sara's cheek and sat in the chair. "This looks delicious."

"Thanks." Sara finally lowered her hand to take her fork. A bashful smile was offered to Tegan, equally for the staring and the compliment. "Try it. I want to know if you like it."

"I'm sure I will." Tegan's warm smile returned to her face before she took a bite. A moan rose from her chest as she chewed. "Oh my god. This is so good! Why didn't you tell me you were such a good cook?"

"I told you I like to cook." Sara started eating her own meal.

"Yeah, but 'liking' to cook and being 'really fucking good at it' are two very different things." Tegan wanted to shovel the food in her mouth, but she opted to savor it. Sara giggled and shrugged one shoulder. After they finished eating, Tegan cleared the plates while Sara put the leftovers in the fridge, and they sat on the couch in their normal spots.

"Do you know how long it's been since I had an actual home-cooked meal in this place?" Tegan took Sara's hand. "I don't even remember."

"Well, I'll just have to fix that, I guess." Sara laughed.

"I am sooo okay with that." Tegan joined in the laughter. They looked at each other as their laughter died down. Tegan sighed and squeezed Sara's hand. "Can I kiss you?"

"I am 'always ready for kisses'." Sara grinned and raised an eyebrow.

Tegan smirked at Sara quoting her comment from a few days beforehand, then she leaned in and took Sara's bottom lip in her own. She massaged her lips for a moment before taking it further, gently licking Sara's lips with the tip of her tongue. Sara's jaw became slack, allowing Tegan in to explore. Her free hand moved to Sara's shoulder, still wanting to let her set the pace, but not sure that she'd take the lead.

Sara let go of Tegan's hand and moved hers to the nape of Tegan's neck, playing with the hair there. A quiet moan escaped Tegan into Sara's mouth, as one of her weak spots was touched. Her breathing became heavier. The hand that had held Sara's went to her knee, and the one on her shoulder slipped down to her lower back, pulling them closer together. Sara tenderly gripped her hair as the hands on her lit the fires she was becoming acquainted with. Another moan rose from Tegan's throat, and she left Sara's lips in favor of her jaw. Making her way to the spot behind her ear, she attached her lips to the skin there, fueled by the panting in her ear. She nipped and licked her way to the throbbing on her neck, and the panting was now punctuated with soft sounds of pleasure.

"Is this okay?" Tegan whispered against her flesh.

"Uh...huh...yeah...mmm," Sara breathed. Tegan made her way back to Sara's mouth, where she was met with more force than she had left. Tegan squeezed Sara's knee and broke their kiss.

"I...I can't control myself...with you." Tegan rested her forehead on Sara's.

"Then don't." Sara reattached their lips. Her free hand grabbed Tegan's back, and she slowly pulled her closer. Sara leaned against the arm of the couch. As her hand left Sara's knee to support herself, Tegan slipped her fingers under the hem of Sara's shirt. She left her mouth again to repeat her previous ministrations on the other side of Sara's neck, releasing a high-pitched moan from the girl beneath her. This only served to incite Tegan more. With fingers tangled in and tugging on the hair at the back of her head, she began brushing her hand across Sara's lower back. Sara dug her nails into Tegan's back.

"Fuck." Tegan's lips were against Sara's ear. She dragged her tongue down the curve and took the bottom in her teeth. She gently pulled and let it pop back into place. "We..." Tegan groaned at what she was about to suggest. "We should stop." Her face lowered to rest in the crook of Sara's neck. Her hand left her shirt and reached up to take the hand from her hair, lacing their fingers together.

"What if I don't want to?" Sara squeezed Tegan's hand.

"Don't say things like that," Tegan mumbled into Sara's shoulder. "This is already really difficult, I promise." She lifted herself and pulled Sara with into a hug, both still trying to steady their breaths. Keeping her arms around her, she leaned back and met Sara's eyes. "I would rather wait as long as you need, than rush and cause you any sort of pain or heartache from it."

In an instant, Sara felt relief wash over her body and her need for Tegan growing. She threw her head back and groaned, exposing her neck, and Tegan clenched her jaw. Sara's head bobbed forward.

"Daaamn iiiit," Sara whined. "Frustratingly perfect."


	7. Chapter 7

The next couple days consisted of Sara greeting Tegan with a variety of homemade dinners, although none were exceedingly fancy. With less than two hours between her last class and meeting at Tegan's apartment, she wasn't able to get very creative. However, this did give her time to come up with some ideas for when she would have more time. Dinner was always followed by heated make-out sessions, and Tegan always pulled away before things progressed any further than they had already. She was serious about ensuring that she did not pressure Sara, but her own yearnings were beginning to build.

It was Thursday evening, and Sara had brought sandwiches stacked high with toppings.

"No cheese?" Tegan flipped through the sandwich like a deck of cards.

"No cheese," Sara giggled. Tegan replied with a gummy smile, appreciative that her disagreements with dairy had been remembered. They ate and talked about their days, which had become their new routine quite quickly.

Soon enough, Tegan found herself leaning over Sara as their tongues desperately tried to find unexplored regions of the other's mouth. Her hand was in its usual spot on the small of Sara's back, and Sara's hand were in their spots on her back and in her hair. While she had been stopping at this point, Tegan instead trailed her hand around to Sara's waist and attached her lips to the spot behind Sara's ear. Her fingers danced lightly on the soft skin, then they cautiously crept forward to graze the fabric covering the underwire of Sara's bra. She felt Sara's breath hitch and stop, so she lowered her hand back to her waist and gave a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sorry," Tegan breathed into Sara's ear and followed with a peck to her earlobe. She raised to look at Sara, and her eyes relayed all of the conflict and fear that Tegan had been afraid of causing. "I don't want to make you feel like you have to do anything you're not sure of." Her eyes lowered in shame.

"No! I..." Sara shut her eyes tightly and chewed her bottom lip. "It's okay. I just...I don't...I mean, I...haven't..." Her eyes opened and searched Tegan's for the words she couldn't find. Tegan kissed her forehead and met her gaze again.

Tegan sighed and spoke, "I don't want to push you or pressure you. I know you haven't been with a girl and – "

"It's not that." Sara cut her off. " _Please_ don't think I'm having second thoughts about you." Her hands grasped the sides of Tegan's face as she tried to kiss away Tegan's insecurities. "I just...I haven't..."

"You haven't...?" Tegan's eyebrows wrinkled together for a moment before shooting up. Her eyes widened as the realization came across her of what Sara was trying to say. "Oh. OH. _Oooh._ " Sara's eyes slammed shut as a tear slid down her temple. "No no no no! Don't cry, Sara." Tegan brushed away the tear and softly kissed each of her eyes. She lifted them upright, but kept them in a hug with her head over Sara's shoulder.

"You...you must think..." Sara's voice caught.

"No. Whatever is going on in your head, no. I don't think that." Tegan squeezed her once more before leaning back and palming her cheek with one hand. Her thumb grazed over the damp spot underneath it as Sara's glossy eyes met hers. "I just didn't realize. That's...different than what I thought. It's one thing to not have been with a girl. It's another to not have been with _anyone_ , and that's okay! I'm not, like, judging you. Not even a little, if that's what you're thinking. That's just a different...situation...than what I thought." Tegan pressed her lips to Sara's, attempting to soothe her worries. Guilt pooled in her stomach for mistaking Sara's nervousness since they had started seeing each other.

"I just feel like I've been leading you on, like, leaving you high and dry. And you're probably used to...more...by now. I'm sorry." Sara covered her face with her hands as a redness overtook it, but Tegan lightly grasped her wrists and pulled them away.

"No, _I'm_ sorry. Being ready for someone new is different than being _ready_." Tegan placed a kiss on her forehead, then her cheeks, and finally her lips. "And believe me, 'high and _dry_ ' is kind of the opposite of how you've been leaving me." Tegan smirked and gave Sara a wink.

" _Oh my god_." Sara hid her face in Tegan's shoulder, somehow more embarrassed than she already was, and yet also more turned on by Tegan's admission. Tegan chuckled and wrapped her arms around Sara, rubbing her back.

"Okay, so in light of...new information, I have a question. And you can change your mind later, just let me know, okay?" Tegan more felt than heard the agreement muffled into her neck. "Well, I said we could go at your pace before, because I thought that you would...um, _lead_...where you wanted things to go. But if this is all... _new_...then do you want me to, like...take the lead? Either way, _you're_ in charge. But, uh, this is one of those differences, if you, you know, don't feel like you know, uh, what to do." Sara pointed her index finger and pressed it against Tegan's sternum. "Does that mean you want me to, like, lead things?" Sara nodded into her neck. "Do you want to look at me right now?" Sara shook her head, causing Tegan to smile. "Okay." Tegan gently nodded her head against Sara's. "That's okay. You're okay. We're okay." Tegan felt arms encircle her and squeeze.


	8. Chapter 8

On Friday, Tegan sent Sara a text telling her not to bring dinner. She was craving pizza and placed an order to be delivered a bit after she got home. Because Sara did not have to spend any extra time making food, she showed up before Tegan, but she faced the stairs this time. As soon as Tegan saw Sara, a gummy smile spread on her face.

"Hey, how can you eat pizza?" Sara asked while setting her bag down. Tegan went to the bathroom and came back with a pill bottle that she tossed at Sara. _Lactaid_. "What's this?"

"Basically the chemical that digests milk. I can take one of those and have dairy, no problem." Tegan took the bottle back to take her dose.

"Oh. Why don't you do that with more food, instead of just avoiding dairy?" Sara asked, sitting on the couch.

"Because it's easier to just not have dairy in certain things than to remember my pill all the time. I'm lazy," Tegan laughed. There was a knock at the door. "One moment!" Tegan looked at Sara.

"Oh, shit! I forgot." Sara ran into the bathroom to wait for Tegan to pay for the pizza.

"Okay! He's gone!" Tegan announced. Sara returned and took her original place on the couch, while Tegan grabbed two cans of Coke from the fridge. They ate quietly for a few moments, contemplating what had just happened.

"That's just until the end of the semester, right? The hiding?" Sara broke the silence. Tegan nodded as the last bite of her slice was in her mouth. "Tegan?" Sara tilted her head to the side. Tegan hummed in response, still chewing. She waited for Tegan to finish. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Um, yeah. I've shoved my tongue down your throat a few times. Pretty sure you've earned the right to ask me a question." Tegan winked and picked up her can to take a sip, smirking into the can as she saw the pink develop on Sara's cheeks.

"Are we dating?" Sara's simple question almost made Tegan choke on her drink. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you. We don't have to talk about it." Sara shrunk into herself to avoid Tegan's gaze as Tegan cleared her throat.

"We absolutely _are_ talking about it, if you _want_ to talk about it." Tegan waited for Sara to glance back at her. "I just wasn't, uh, didn't realize that you wanted to have, uh, _that_ conversation right now. But like I said, we go at your pace. That includes talks." Tegan lightly nodded to encourage Sara. She had been prepared for this discussion for a while, but she hadn't thought Sara would be the one bringing it up, much less doing it so blatantly. It threw her for a loop, but she was loving it. _Oh shit. I'm supposed to be leading._ "So, uh, do you _want_ to be dating?"

Sara gave a simple shrug. She knew it wasn't much to offer, but she really had no clue how to do this. No books, fictional or not, truly shaped the way a person felt or acted in the moment, in real life, and all the stories she had read on paper and online could only tell her about other people's feelings, not her own feelings. While Sara was by no means ignorant of the expectations of a romantic relationship or the meanings of titles set to that relationship, she still was not able to put into words, even for herself, what she thought of her current situation.

"Okay. Um." Tegan pondered a bit before starting again. "Can I ask _you_ a question now?" A nod. "Have you ever...dated someone...before?" A shrug. "Okay, come on. Talk to me. Please? I'm drowning here." Tegan chuckled.

Sara sighed and began, "I, uh, went on a few dates...in high school. With guys. And one date with a guy my freshman year here. But, like...it never, uh..."

"Seemed to fit?" Tegan finished for her. Sara nodded, and Tegan smiled, understanding the feeling quite well.

"So, I wanted to, like, figure out why. And I didn't want to, like, bring anyone into it...when I didn't know..." Sara trailed off. She knew the words she wanted, but her mouth wouldn't form them.

"Huh." Tegan mulled over the confession and fully regretted ever having the thought that Sara might have been experimenting with her. _She just spent two years purposefully_ not _making anyone an experiment._ "Why...why did you bring me...into it?" While Tegan was obviously much more experienced in relationships and matters of the heart, she still had her own vulnerability at stake. Pretending that this was a simple crush had become impossible for her since their first kiss, and each subsequent kiss had driven her further from the ability to deny her own feelings.

"You...make me feel...things." Sara grinned and tucked her hands between her thighs.

"Yeah? Like what?" Tegan smiled. She found Sara's shyness extremely adorable.

"I don't know." A heat gathered on Sara's face once again. "I like being around you. You, uh, you make me feel happy."

"I like being around you, and you make me feel happy, too." Tegan beamed. This was exactly where she hoped this conversation would lead. She leaned closer and tucked a curl behind Sara's ear, resting her hand on her jaw. "You want to know what else you make me feel?" One of her eyebrows peaked. Sara subtly nodded as she looked up through her eyelashes and bit her lip. "You make me feel really..." Tegan leaned in more. "Really..." She brought her lips to Sara's ear. "Turned on."

Tegan gave Sara's ear one flick with the tip of her tongue, earning her a gasp. She kissed down her jawline until she found her lips. Sara's tongue swirled with Tegan's, and her hands flew to Tegan's back. Tegan removed her hand from Sara's face and placed it at the small of her back, bringing her closer. She took the ankle Sara was sitting on and slowly moved it to meet the cushions to their side. With slight pressure, she coaxed Sara onto her back, now resting on the seat of the couch instead of the arm. Tegan shifted to her knees and held herself up with her free hand on the seat by Sara's chest. Her body hovered over Sara's as she broke the kiss.

"Is this okay?" Tegan's breath was heavy but steady as she gauged Sara's reaction. Sara nodded and reached up to continue their kiss, one hand tangling in Tegan's hair to pull her head down. Sara's other hand pressed on Tegan's back as soon as their mouths met, causing Tegan to falter and collapse onto her. As soon as their bodies collided, Tegan instinctively rolled hers into the one below, letting out a low moan.

"Oh fuck I'm sor – " Tegan was interrupted by Sara's mouth, eliciting another moan from her. Sara needed to feel her skin, so she slipped her hand past the hem of Tegan's shirt. Her clothing was feeling very tight again, and her entire body was on fire from the pressure of Tegan on top of her.

Tegan moved down to Sara's neck, and Sara brought her other leg from the floor to Tegan's side. The feeling of being between Sara's legs sent a shiver through her. Her teeth gently sunk into the dip between Sara's shoulder and neck. Sara cried out and scratched her short nails down Tegan's back, causing Tegan to roll her body against Sara again.

"Fuck." Tegan paused to attempt to regain some composure with her head buried in Sara's neck, but Sara gripped her hair and brought their lips back together. Sara pressed against her back, but Tegan just kissed her harder, so she lowered her hand to rest just above her pants and pressed again. Tegan smiled into their kiss and slowly ground her hips into Sara's. "You like that?"

"Mmhmm." Sara was unable to form any real words. Tegan had moved to the spot behind her ear, and the sensations made her head feel light but her body feel more constricted. She really wanted – no, needed – to take off her shirt. It was getting too hot and too tight, but she hadn't taken her shirt off in front of anyone before, at least not in this kind of context. Another roll of Tegan's hips made up her mind for her. "My...my shirt."

Tegan hummed and spoke into her skin, "What about it?" Tegan knew where she wanted Sara's request to go, but she wasn't going to assume. Sara only whined in response. "Do you want it off?" Tegan put her weight on her knees to view Sara's face. Her eyes were shut and her bottom lip was between her teeth as she nodded. A grin played on Tegan's lips as she raised her body away from Sara. Her hands went to the hem of Sara's shirt, and she slowly lifted it over her head.

Sara got a chill as soon as Tegan had departed, and she felt a loss when her hands left Tegan so her shirt could be stripped. A small wave of relief ran through her spine now that her shirt was gone. The shirt fell to the floor as Tegan's eyes gazed over Sara's newly exposed flesh. Sara sensed the pause and finally opened her eyes to see Tegan looking at her in a way that no one had looked at her before, releasing a new flame through her skin wherever Tegan's eyes landed. Her arms were still over her head as Tegan's eyes flicked back up to hers.

"Can I...?" Tegan hovered her hands over Sara's stomach.

"Ye-yeah." Sara watched as Tegan lowered both hands to her skin. They spread across her abdomen as Tegan lowered her head to place her lips on her navel. Sara moaned as Tegan gave her stomach a similar treatment that she had given her neck, and both of her hands found the back of Tegan's head. Her muscles clenched against Tegan's tongue as she dragged her nails down Sara's sides. Tegan skipped over her breasts to lick and suck across her upper chest and brought one hand to rest below her bra.

"Is this okay?" Tegan ran a finger across the cloth covering the underwire.

"Uh huh," Sara squeaked. Tegan circled her breast with one finger before palming it. She lifted her torso slightly to palm the other and began massaging them. Sara's breathing became more erratic, and her pulse radiated through her body. Her hands lowered to play with the hem of Tegan's shirt. Tegan swiped her thumbs over Sara's nipples through the thin fabric, evoking a sweet sound from Sara's lips.

Sara's fists clenched Tegan's shirt, lifting it, and Tegan sat up to pull it the rest of the way off. Sara's hands rested on Tegan's waist as she took in the sight of the shirtless woman in front of her. Her fingers twitched, and Tegan took them and placed them over her own breasts. She moved her hands over Sara's to knead them and moaned as she bit her bottom lip. Sara's eyes went wide and met Tegan's.

"Fuck, Sara." Tegan crashed their lips together as Sara's hands slipped around her back. Her torso remained high enough that their breasts lightly grazed. She rotated her chest to circle Sara's hard nipples with her own, the sensation enhanced by the silky material of their bras. Sara broke the kiss to gasp for air, and Tegan kissed down her neck and shoulder.

As her lips reached Sara's bra strap, her fingers slowly lowered it down Sara's arm. The tip of her tongue trailed down next to the edge of the fabric until she reached the bulge on Sara's heaving chest. Her eyes glanced up to check if Sara showed any signs of discomfort but found none. Tegan pulled the cup down, exposing her pink nipple. Her tongue trailed around the areola before she took it into her mouth, causing Sara to cry out again.

"No...bras," Sara panted, and Tegan wasted no time ridding them of both bras. Sara pulled her in for another kiss, pressing their bare breasts together. Tegan groaned as her senses were being overcome with pleasure, and her hips bucked into Sara's, eliciting a high-pitched moan from the woman below her. Tegan's mouth made its way down to Sara's nipples once again. Her tongue flicked against one while she rolled the other between her thumb and index finger. Her teeth nipped at the hard point, then gently sucked it between her lips. "Shit! Oohh..." Sara's back arched into Tegan's touch before Tegan switched sides to give the other breast similar treatment.

Tegan licked her way back to Sara's neck, stopping once to graze her teeth over her protruding clavicle. The noises coming from Sara were almost enough to throw Tegan over the edge on their own. However, the ache between her thighs only intensified when one of Sara's hands slid to her breast again. Sara pinched Tegan's hard nipple and rolled it, copying what was previously done to her, and Tegan remembered for a moment that Sara had proven to be a quick learner.

Their mouths met for a passionate kiss. Sara slowly wrapped her legs around Tegan and hooked her ankles together. The hand on Tegan's back slid lower to cup her ass, grinding their hips together again. Tegan groaned into Sara's mouth, and their hands roamed freely on the exposed flesh. Tegan found a gentle rhythm with her hips, drawing a sound that vibrated from Sara's throat on Tegan's tongue with each thrust.

Tegan's fingertips ghosted over Sara's stomach to the top of her jeans, and the tip of her index finger hooked beneath the fabric. The woman below her tensed instantly, so her hand went back to Sara's waist. Tegan's motions halted as she rested her weight back on her knees, and she pulled her head away to look at Sara. Her eyes met ones filled with confusion and touched by fear. Sweat glistened on her skin, matching Tegan's heat, as she shakily brought her lips to Sara's forehead. Tegan traced her hands down Sara's arms and interlaced their fingers, resting them at their sides. She slowly kissed Sara's face, leaving nowhere untouched, as they each tried to steady their lungs.

"Fuck," Sara whispered when Tegan rested her forehead on her own.

"Uh huh." Tegan gave Sara a light peck on the lips, willing her body to calm down. She was about to sit up, but Sara gripped her hands tighter.

"Can you, uh...can you just hold me? Please?" Sara's voice was quiet and quivered, but the need in it was obvious.

"Of course." Tegan adjusted them so that they were on their sides with Sara's back to the cushions. Their arms wrapped around each other, and Sara trembled softly as she rested her cheek against Tegan's sternum. "Are you okay? Do you want your shirt?"

"No." Sara was not yet ready to give up the feeling of Tegan's skin on hers. "I'm just a little cold." Tegan reached over Sara to pull a blanket from behind the cushions.

"Is that better?" Tegan spread the cover over their bodies. Sara nodded into her chest. Tegan delicately rubbed Sara's back as they rested and calmed their rapid hearts.

"Tegan?" Sara's timid voice rose.

"Yeah?" Tegan kissed the top of her head.

"Are we dating?" Sara felt the tremor in Tegan's chest as she chuckled. The conversation from earlier came back to her, and she kissed Sara's head again.

"Sorry. I was a little, uh, distracted." Tegan raised Sara's chin to meet her eyes. "How about this: Sara, will you be my girlfriend?" Sara's eyes widened for a moment, then she smiled and nodded giddily.

"Yes." Sara's lips were met with Tegan's as soon as she got the word out. They shared sporadic tender kisses until the lull of sleep pulled them under.


	9. Chapter 9

The morning light slipped through the crack between the curtains. Sara didn't want to be awake yet and kept her eyes shut as she attempted to stretch her limbs. Her right arm and leg were pinned down by something warm and comfortable. Peeking her eyes open slightly, she was met with Tegan's sleeping face just a few inches from her own. Last night's events came rushing back as she realized they were both still topless. Their arms were wrapped around each other, and their legs were entwined so that each was straddling the other's right leg.

Sara glanced at the clock on the wall. It wasn't quite 6am yet. They had fallen asleep relatively early, so the time did not surprise her. While they had agreed not to see each other on the weekends, Sara had no plans for the day with friends or family, so no one would even know she had spent the night. However, she did not know Tegan's Saturday schedule.

"Tegan," Sara whispered. "Tee." There was no response, so she ran her fingers through Tegan's hair. If she had to wake her up, she didn't want to alarm her. "Tegan." Sara's fingers continued their repetitions through her locks, and Sara leaned in to give Tegan a peck on the lips. "Tegan, wake up." Finally, Tegan groaned. "Tegan, it's morning."

"Mm-mm." Tegan shook her head and tightened her arms around Sara, pulling them even closer together. Her childlike behavior brought a smile to Sara's face.

"Wakey-wakey." Sara gave her another peck and laid her hand on Tegan's shoulder. Tegan abruptly took her hand and put it back on her head before placing her arm back around Sara. Sara giggled as she resumed combing her fingers through Tegan's hair. "You like that?"

"Mhmm." Tegan smiled and squinted her eyes open. "I think I found my new favorite alarm clock." Her voice was still husky with sleep, and Sara discovered that it was something she wanted to hear more often.

"What? Me playing with your hair?" Sara giggled.

"Topless-girlfriend-you playing with my hair." Tegan tucked her face into Sara's neck after her crude joke.

"Hey!" Sara laughed and tried to lift Tegan's head back up by tugging on her hair, forgetting the effect it had on her. A moan vibrated against her chest from Tegan as the arms around her squeezed tighter. Sara's eyebrow rose, and her lips curled into a smirk. She tugged Tegan's hair again, keeping it taut while her other hand lightly scratched down the part of Tegan's back that she could reach.

Tegan breathed harder against Sara's chest as she was remade aware of her unreleased tension from the night before. This was not how Tegan expected their morning to go, but she was not one to argue. She began to brush her lips over Sara's neck and chest, leaving a trail with the tip of her tongue up to Sara's ear.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" The smile was evident in Tegan's voice. Her mouth went to work behind Sara's ear.

"I think I have an idea." Sara squeezed Tegan's leg between her own. Tegan's hand slipped to Sara's breast to play with her nipple and was rewarded with a sharp moan from Sara's lips. There was a hitch in Sara's breath, and Tegan grinned as her lips traced lower. She skimmed down Sara's neck and chest as her other arm slipped from beneath Sara. Tegan glanced at Sara's face every few seconds. Wrapping her fingers around Sara's waist, Tegan continued her work on Sara's breasts with her mouth. Her teeth nipped at the bud, making Sara's back arch into her.

Watching Sara's expression, Tegan's hand smoothed along Sara's skin to her lower back and pressed lightly as she cautiously rose her leg between Sara's. A groan resonated against her tongue, and her hands moved to Sara's hips to gingerly pull them to her thigh. Sara thrust her hips as soon as she felt the pressure increase. Tegan guided Sara at a slow and steady pace.

"Please." Sara gripped Tegan's ass to encourage her to go faster. Her head was spinning, and the feeling of Tegan against her core was the only thing grounding her.

"Shit," Tegan groaned. "We. Shit. We should. Stop. Fuck. If you want. To stop." Despite her words, Tegan made no effort to slow their movements.

"Please don't stop. Please don't stop," Sara chanted, thrusting harder on Tegan's thigh and digging her fingers into Tegan's fleshy bottom.

"Oh fuck." Tegan rolled them over so Sara was on her back while keeping her leg firmly planted between Sara's. Now on top, Tegan's center met with Sara's jutting hipbone. Her underwear was soaked, letting her motions be fluid, and the thought of Sara's underwear being just as drenched drove her wild. Sara palmed her ass with both hands, urging her to increase their speed, and Tegan no longer found a reason to disagree. One of Tegan's hands steadied herself while the other massaged Sara's breast. Their lips found each other, neither caring about morning breath anymore.

Sara felt the fire in her lower stomach begin to grow, and she broke the kiss to bite Tegan's shoulder. She whimpered louder with each roll of their hips, while her head swam with desire. Dissatisfied with the feeling of denim on her palms, Sara slid her hands past the waistband of Tegan's jeans and groped her over her underwear. Tegan growled in her ear, adding a purposeful rotation to their grinding. Soft waves rolled through her with each thrust, offering a taste of the imminent. Sara's head flew back, and Tegan took the opportunity to ravish her exposed neck as Sara's eyes rolled back into her head.

When Sara's moans became more desperate, Tegan left her neck to watch her reach her peak through hooded eyelids. With only a few more rolls of Tegan's hips, Sara cried out as her orgasm rushed through her, hitting her harder than she had ever experienced by her own hand. The sight and feeling of Sara's body writhing underneath her brought Tegan over the edge, and she collapsed onto Sara. Her body reeled as the pent-up tension from the previous night magnified her release.

They came down slowly with uneven breaths and hammering hearts. The occasional involuntary thrust from either caused a mirrored reaction in the other along with soft whimpers. Before Tegan had fully gathered her bearings, she lifted her dizzy head and gave Sara a tender kiss.

"Holy...shit." Sara tried to control her breathing to little avail.

"Are you okay? Was that okay?" Tegan's voice was laced with concern. Sara's eyes flew open, and Tegan searched her face for any sign of regret or pain. However, Sara did not give her much time to look. She grabbed Tegan's face in her hands, pulling her in for a passionate kiss. Just as Tegan was almost out of air, Sara laid her head back on the seat of the couch. Catching her breath again, Tegan smirked. "I'm going to take that as a 'yes'."

Tegan rolled them to their sides like they had slept. The two rested in each other's arms until their bodies calmed down, both stealing intermittent kisses. Many thoughts and feelings cycled through Sara's mind. She couldn't believe the woman in front of her. Not only was she all the wonderful things Sara already liked about her, but the care that Tegan had shown her since their first kiss blew Sara away. While she knew that Tegan would stop the moment Sara asked, she hadn't had to ask yet, because Tegan had paid so much attention to Sara.

Nervousness crept its way into Sara's brain. She wasn't sure if Tegan considered what they just did to be sex. She wasn't sure if _she_ considered it sex, but if Tegan did, Sara had no clue what that meant. Distracting herself, she checked the time again. It was already after seven.

"So, uh, do you have plans for today? Like, since it's the weekend and I don't want to make you have to explain why you're, you know, late to something or if you have a meeting or something," Sara rambled.

"No." Tegan shook her head, grinning at Sara's behavior. "All I have to do is homework. And maybe you." One eyebrow raised as she bit her bottom lip through her smile. Sara's eyes widened and breath held at Tegan's suggestion. The worry etched into Sara's features was not missed. Tegan closed her eyes as her face fell. "Fuck," she sighed. Looking back at Sara, she apologized, shaking her head at herself. "I'm sorry. You're not okay. I knew I should have stopped." Tegan started to pull away from Sara.

"No!" Sara clung to Tegan. "I'm...okay." Her hesitation was noted immediately. Tegan furrowed her brow.

"I know something's going on inside your head. What's going on in there? What's wrong?" Tegan asked. Sara breathed and tried to come up with a way to put her thoughts into words.

"Do you want to have sex now?" The words were loud and rushed, falling out before Sara realized what she was saying. Her hand flew to cover her mouth, and it was Tegan's turn to be wide-eyed.

"Oh...'Kay. I mean, if you want...but I get the feeling that you mean something else." Tegan watched Sara nod quickly. "Something else. Okay. Um." Tegan rubbed Sara's back to calm her, racking her brain to find the meaning behind Sara's outburst. Sara slowly lowered her hand from her mouth. She knew she needed to work on communicating with Tegan, even if she felt awkward with how new everything was.

"I just...don't know...what." Sara took a deep breath. "I don't know what you, like, think of...like, what you expect. Now that we..." She trailed off, still not sure what to call their actions.

"Now that we got off together?" Tegan's grin came back a little as Sara's cheeks grew pink. "I don't _expect_ anything. Except, like, maybe that you keep me in the loop on what _you_ expect." Tegan paused to give her a chance to respond. Sara didn't say anything, but Tegan felt her muscles relax a bit. "I _really_ liked that, and I am _very_ ready to share more orgasms with you." Tegan's grin grew into a smirk as Sara's cheeks became a deeper red. "But I know none of that makes _you_ ready. We're still going at your pace."

Overwhelmed, Sara buried her face under Tegan's chin. Relief flooded her body as she squeezed Tegan tighter. During her years of questioning, Sara's biggest fear was that she would have to resort to compelling herself into sexual experiences that she was mentally or emotionally unprepared for, just to get answers about her sexuality. Tegan's words and actions made it clear that she wouldn't have to feel like that anymore, and she found herself in awe.

"How are you so perfect?" Sara questioned into Tegan's shoulder.

"Ha! I promise I'm not." Tegan pressed lightly on Sara's chest to meet their eyes, and she found wetness in Sara's. "Please tell me those are happy tears!" Tegan wiped a stray drop while Sara nodded and chuckled.

"Yeah. Happy tears. You make me really happy." Sara's smile let a few more tears free that Tegan was quick to whisk away with her thumb. "How – how do you always know exactly what to say?"

"Well, believe it or not," Tegan smiled, "I used to be a virgin, too." Sara laughed at Tegan's banter. "And I also had to figure out I was gay," she said more seriously. "Not that you are. Gay, I mean. That's totally –"

"No." Sara shook her head. "I think...I think I might be." The solemn words voiced the thoughts that Sara had mulled over with much more consideration the past few months. Summoning the courage Tegan had bestowed upon her over the last couple weeks, Sara spoke the words for the first time out loud. "I think I'm gay."

"Then I am honored to be the first person you've come out to." Pride swelled in Tegan's chest as a smile spread over her face.

"Thank you." Sara choked back a sob before smashing her lips into Tegan's.


	10. Chapter 10

It was the last week of classes before the week of final exams, so both Tegan and Sara had found themselves needing more time to commit to studying and final projects. Because Tegan only needed her laptop, books, and notes while Sara needed a significant number of larger art supplies, they agreed to meet at Sara's apartment on Monday.

With the bus ride, Tegan arrived at Sara's building close to 5:30pm. She double checked her text to make sure she had the right one before entering the main front door. The apartments in this building opened to a common indoor hallway, so Tegan removed her gloves as she climbed the stairs to the third floor. There were two doors to her left and two to her right, but the 11 on one caught her attention. Taking a deep breath, she stood in front of the door and knocked.

"Coming!" Sara yelled from inside. Within moments, Tegan was ushered inside and greeted with a lingering kiss as soon as the door closed behind her.

"Mmm. A girl could get used to that." Tegan grinned into Sara's lips.

"A girl _should_ get used to that," Sara corrected before kissing her again.

* * *

The week flew by in a mess of paper and paint. By Friday afternoon, all they had left was studying for three finals each. When Tegan arrived, Sara was finishing the stir fry she made for dinner. After dropping her things by the door, Tegan went to Sara, still at the stove turning off the burners and moving the pans to the cool ones. She wrapped her arms around Sara's middle, rested her head on her shoulder, and nuzzled into her neck, closing her eyes. Sara's head lolled back onto Tegan's shoulder.

"Mmm. I missed you." Tegan allowed her lips to brush Sara's skin as she spoke. Sara giggled and turned around in her arms, placing her hands on Tegan's hips.

"You just saw me yesterday. You've been over all week," Sara grinned.

"Yeah, but we were both doing homework and shit all week. We didn't have any time to talk or cuddle." Tegan pouted her lower lip out. Sara took the protruding lip between her own and lightly sucked, grazing over it with her tongue. When she pulled back, Tegan's eyes were shut and her mouth hung open slightly.

"Come on, let's eat. Then we can cuddle all you like." Sara gave Tegan a quick peck on the cheek.

"Fine," Tegan huffed. "But only because you cooked it, and your food is so good. If we had ordered pizza again, it'd be getting cold while we got warm." She nuzzled back into Sara's neck with a smile. Sara squeezed Tegan's hips before gently pushing her away.

"It's going to get cold if you don't let me go," Sara giggled. She prepared two plates and put them on the small table where they sat and ate.

During their meal, Sara pondered over their week. Part of her was grateful that the last few days were filled with schoolwork. She was able to work through some of her thoughts on their relationship, both emotional and physical, without the added stress of figuring it out while continuing at the same pace as the previous week. She didn't regret anything, from how far they had gone physically, to becoming girlfriends and coming out as gay, nor did she regret how fast they had done these things. However, she did want some time to process it all. This was still her first time with everything.

Understanding what made her nervous was the main part of Sara's contemplation of the physical side of their relationship. She definitely did not feel too young, and obviously pregnancy wasn't even a possibility. Now that she had a much more solid notion of her sexuality, that wasn't holding her back. Sara decided that it was her lack of experience – in particular, Tegan's relative wealth of experience in comparison – that concerned her most. Sara had no doubt that Tegan would easily please her in bed, but other than mimicking Tegan's actions, Sara had no clue how to please Tegan.

Also, the question Sara had that would potentially be most awkward was how to be safe. She knew the standard things from sex ed in high school, but that was exclusively related to straight sex. Condoms were emphasized to prevent STIs and pregnancy. She had no idea how to translate what she had been taught to lesbian sex. However, if they were both negative for STIs, Sara didn't think protection would be necessary, unless she was overlooking something.

"Tegan, can I ask you something?" Sara decided it would be better to discuss this now, before they went any further. Tegan swallowed her bite, remembering choking on her pizza just a week ago when Sara had said nearly the same thing. Putting down her fork, she nodded for Sara to continue. "Have you been tested?"

"Like for STDs or whatever?" Tegan was immediately thankful of her choice in not taking another bite.

"Yeah," Sara nodded.

"Um, yeah. I go to the campus clinic for my Pap smears, and they do a full line up on pretty much anyone who walks in the door. Have _you_ been tested?" Tegan raised an eyebrow and grinned. She trusted that Sara was telling the truth about not having been with anyone before, but it was a valid question.

"That's the 'full battery of tests' they ask you about, right?" Sara asked.

"Yup. Everything at the clinic is free to students, so they like to do as much as they can with everyone. Have you gone there?" Tegan's mother was a nurse and had worked at Planned Parenthood since Tegan was little, and she had done some volunteering there on summer breaks since she was 16. The campus clinic was one of the first places she familiarized herself with when she had started school here. The fact that Sara had started this conversation thrilled Tegan. She had always been the one to bring it up in the past, and no one ever seemed very excited about discussing it.

"Yeah. I heard they get more funding when they do more tests. Like, it shows they're more needed or whatever? So I just let them do everything they want when I go. I mean, I've only gone twice, but the last time was in September." Sara's first visit was a year ago. She had managed to get a yeast infection, which the nurse had said can happen when certain things occur or, as the nurse put it, 'sometimes just because you have a vagina'. Because she wasn't sexually active, they set her up with an appointment for her first pap smear after her 21st birthday in August, which was her second visit. "But I don't know where the papers from that are."

"I can show you!" Tegan's eyes lit up. "They put everything online. Have you accessed your account on their site?"

"No? I don't think I have." Sara shook her head. Tegan put their empty plates in the sink and grabbed her laptop.

"Here. I'll show you mine, then we can set up yours." Tegan sat on the couch and waited for Sara to join. She went to her bookmark for the clinic's website. "Since I have an account, I just log in, go here, under this tab you can click 'records', and that's a list of your visits with the most recent at the top. You can click each to get anything you need, like test results. Obviously, things don't go up here until they talk to you first, in case something is positive, but it's all here after that." Tegan clicked on the link for her last visit, which showed 'negative' next to a long list of STIs. "This was October, so I should still be negative, unless you have something that can be transmitted through kissing...or dry humping." Tegan smirked.

"Oh my god..." Sara covered her face with a hand at the mention of 'dry humping', causing Tegan to laugh.

"Come on." Tegan nudged Sara's shoulder with her own. "Let's set up your account." She logged out and went to the registration page. "Here, type in your info." Sara took the laptop from Tegan, still avoiding eye contact. After she filled out the forms, she logged into her new account and followed the steps Tegan had showed her. The record from September was nearly identical to Tegan's; the same list of tests with 'negative' next to each.

"Well that's convenient." Sara scanned over the list of things she had been tested for, as she hadn't paid a lot of attention before. This was much more relevant to her now that she was seriously considering having sex with someone.

"Uh huh. You can check your vaccination records, any tests, all of it. You have to go in if you need any official paper stating that you've had whatever shots or tests, but you can unofficially check pretty much your whole medical history that the clinic knows about." Tegan knew that she was in 'information-giving' mode, like when she was a volunteer, but she decided to roll with it. "Do you have any other questions?"

"Yeah. Do you work for the clinic or something?" Sara grinned.

"No," Tegan laughed. "I told you my mom works at Planned Parenthood, right? I help out sometimes, and what I usually do is this kind of stuff. You know, basic things you don't need a medical license for."

"Oh. That makes sense." Sara paused, biting her lip and furrowing her brow. "Wait. So, like, why didn't you bring this up before? Getting tested, I mean. Like, we could have, you know...done things by now."

"Honestly? I kind of figured that we wouldn't have had sex yet. You haven't been ready, and I respect that. But I would have brought it up if I thought we were going to," Tegan shrugged. The wording she used did not escape Sara. It seemed Tegan did not consider what they had done the previous week to be sex, which relieved Sara somewhat.

"But what about, like...'in the heat of the moment'?" Sara hoped she could find out something about protection without having to ask directly.

"I, uh, carry stuff in my bag, just in case." Tegan nodded, but realized that might have come off differently than she intended. "Not that I expect anything to happen! I usually just give it out to friends, but like, I made sure to be stocked in case you were ready."

"What kind of stuff? Like condoms?" Sara was more confused now than she was before. Everything Tegan said seemed like she was talking about the condoms they had to put on bananas in her sex ed class. Tegan grabbed her backpack and brought it back to the couch with her.

"Male condoms." Tegan started naming off things as she pulled them out and handed them to Sara. "Female condoms. Dental dams. Latex gloves. Finger cots. Water-based lube." Sara looked at all the packets in her lap with wide eyes. There were only a few of each thing, and the lube was in single-use packets, but she was a little overwhelmed with it all.

"Holy shit." Sara picked up the gloves and cots with hesitation. "What are these for?"

"Hands that may be...inserted...places." Tegan wasn't sure how much detail she wanted. Sara just nodded and put them back down, trading for the female condoms and dental dams.

"I didn't know that there were female condoms. And what the hell is a dental dam?" Sara was a little afraid of the word 'dental' being in the name.

"Yeah, those go inside you. And dams are just a sheet of latex for, uh, oral use. Do you want to see one?" Tegan asked.

"No," Sara shook her head. "I don't want to waste them, and I don't...I'm not..." Sara trailed off, staring at Tegan with uncertainty.

"Oh!" Tegan understood what Sara was implying. "No no no. I don't mean a _full_ demonstration," she chuckled. "I've done demonstrations a bunch of times, and believe me, no clothes were removed." Tegan took a pamphlet out of her bag and one of each item from Sara's lap. "Here, I'll just leave this on your dresser. This is instructions for all of them. You can look at them whenever you feel comfortable. I get them from my mom for free, so don't worry about wasting them. Knowing how to use protection effectively is not a waste." She placed everything she was leaving for Sara on the dresser by the bathroom door and packed the rest back in her bag.

"Thank you." Sara breathed a sigh of relief. She hadn't expected Tegan to be quite so prepared, and it was all a bit much to take in with Tegan still there.

"Besides, now that we know neither of us has anything, and we can't exactly knock each other up, so uh, none of this is technically necessary whenever we do decide to have sex. Unless you want to use something. That's okay, too. Condoms and comfortable is always a better idea than no condoms and not comfortable." Tegan didn't want Sara to think that they couldn't use any protection just because they had shared test results. After all, Sara was the one who had asked about it. As soon as Tegan sat back down, Sara engulfed her in a hug.

"How do you continue to be so amazing?" Sara was convinced that a better girlfriend didn't exist.


	11. Chapter 11

The rest of the weekend was spent separately at various study groups they had formed with classmates. With finals over the next few days, distractions needed to be kept to a minimum. Tegan's last test was on Tuesday, but Sara's last one was Wednesday at noon. They had made the plan to meet at Tegan's apartment when Sara was done to celebrate the end of the semester. Tegan didn't know what Sara would want to drink, or _if_ she would even want to drink, so instead of a large amount of cheap alcohol, she just got a couple six-packs of expensive beer for their meeting.

About an hour after Sara's final should have ended, Tegan heard a knock at the door. She greeted her girlfriend with a kiss, and Sara left her coat and shoes by the door. A feeling of comfort rushed through Tegan as she realized just how normal and routine this had become for them; it had been a while since she felt this way. They sat on the couch for a while, sharing how their tests had gone, before Tegan remembered that they were supposed to be celebrating.

"Oh! I have some beer in the fridge, if you want one. You know, relax and enjoy not having anything due for the next few weeks." Tegan pointed to the kitchen as she stood, ready to grab the drinks.

"We had the same idea, but different," Sara laughed. She reached in her pocket and pulled out a small wooden box. Tegan knew what it was without asking. She used to have one similar, but she had thrown it away when she had quit. The blank stare on Tegan's face and her unblinking eyes focused on the box worried Sara. "We don't have to. If you don't like it. I wasn't sure." She moved to put it away.

"No!" Tegan stopped her. "I mean, no. It's fine. I just, I haven't...in a couple years."

"Was there a reason you stopped? If it makes you uncomfortable to have in your apartment, I can take it home," Sara offered.

"Don't go! You don't have to go." Tegan rushed back to sit with Sara, grasping her arm.

"I was going to come back if I took it home. I know some people have strong feelings against weed." Sara was concerned with Tegan's sudden clinginess. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Tegan realized how she was behaving and loosened her grip. "Yeah. I just...it reminded me of something..." There was a pause while Sara waited to see if she would elaborate, but it didn't seem she would.

"What were you reminded of that made you _that_ scared of me going home?" Sara prompted. Tegan looked at the ground and leaned back on the couch, bringing her hands to her to her lap.

"I..." Tegan took a deep breath. "I used to. Not, like, all the time, but weekends and parties or whatever. And it, uh, it bothered my ex. So I didn't smoke around her, but sometimes I still did, like if I was stressed out and I knew she wasn't going to be around. One day, she found my stash, and she, um, she said that she would leave me if I didn't quit. So I quit."

"Hey." Sara reached for Tegan's hand and held it in her own. "Obviously _I'm_ fine with pot, but if it bothers _you_ now, I can still take it home. I would be right back. Promise."

"It doesn't bother me at all. It just made me remember...I guess I never really thought about it before. She used to do that a lot." Tegan stared at their hands, not meeting Sara's gaze.

"Do what?" Sara asked.

"Say she would...she would leave me. If I didn't, like, do what she said." Tegan bit her lip. She hadn't told anyone that before. Whenever a friend had asked about a change in her behavior in the past, she had always worded it to sound like her own choice.

"Oh." Sara took in this new information for a moment, choosing her words. "You are so wonderful. You're smart and kind, and you always put me first. You're so considerate that sometimes I don't even know what _you_ want, because you always make it about what _I_ want." Tegan finally looked up at these words, but kept her head down. "And if she couldn't see how great you are, then that's her loss. If she was willing to treat you like that, then she obviously didn't know what she had. I do. I see you. And whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me." A small smile formed on Tegan's lips.

"I like being stuck with you." Tegan squeezed Sara's hand. "And what I want right now is to kiss you."

"So kiss me." Sara set the wooden box on the table and turned to fully face her. Tegan brought her free hand to the back of Sara's neck as they shared a soft kiss, then she pulled away with closed eyes and a content smile.

"Okay." Tegan opened her eyes to meet Sara's with a grin.

"Okay what?" Sara asked. Instead of answering, Tegan just picked up the wooden box, swiveled the top to the side, and pulled out the pipe. It was small, shaped and painted to look like a half-smoked cigarette.

"Holy shit!" Tegan noticed the other compartment was nearly full. "How much weed do you smoke?" Her wide eyes flicked between Sara and the box.

"Don't look at me like that!" Sara laughed. "I usually just keep my whole stash in there until it gets low. I just refilled it, but that would normally last me a couple months, probably."

"Okay. That makes more sense." Tegan shook her head, laughing along with her. "But you should really store it in something else. It will go stale in here."

"Oh, look who knows all about pot, Miss I-Haven't-Gotten-Stoned-In-Two-Years!" Sara stuck her tongue out. "It does get stale, but I don't really mind. And it's not like I usually share. I mostly just smoke when I need to paint but don't want to. Creative juices or some shit like that," she giggled.

"So do you have a lighter, smartass?" Tegan teased back.

"Always." Sara pulled a blue Bic lighter from the same pocket that had held the wooden box. The bottom of it had the telltale black smudges on both corners.

"So you have a bowl, too?" Tegan took the lighter and held it to show the dark spots.

"It's harder to shove in a pocket without breaking," Sara smiled. "But you're welcome to use it whenever you want."

"Hmm, well, depending on how this goes, I might just have to buy my own again." Tegan raised an eyebrow and grinned. She filled the pipe, then handed the box back to Sara. Holding it like a joint between her thumb and index finger, she brought the pipe to her lips and lit it. As she inhaled, her throat burned from no longer being used to the hot smoke, but she was determined not to waste it. She held her breath as she examined the end to find that there was enough for another hit. Exhaling, she only let out a few small coughs that she managed to hold in her throat.

"Yup, it's a two-hitter. Sometimes three, if you take smaller tokes," Sara said. "Do you want it?" Tegan nodded and smoked the rest that was in the pipe, holding it in while Sara got a small bowl and a box of cereal from the kitchen. Taking the pipe, she emptied the ash into the bowl and refilled it. By the time Sara had taken her two hits, Tegan was already feeling the effects of the drug, and a gummy smile was plastered on her face.

"I missed this," she said, nodding to herself and sinking back into the couch. After emptying the pipe again, Sara put it back in the wooden box, closing it and setting it on the table. "My skin feels...fuzzy. I forgot about that."

"Yeah, you probably have no tolerance anymore." Sara knew that Tegan was a little higher than herself, making the body high more prominent. She traced her fingertips down Tegan's arms and linked their fingers together. Tegan's eyelids were already drooping, so Sara handed her the cereal. "Munchies yet?"

"Not really." Tegan shifted in her seat and set down the cereal. While that side effect was something she experienced when stoned, it usually only presented itself when she was higher. She pressed her legs together in an attempt to relieve the other side effect she always had with any amount of weed. "But I am hungry for something else," she said, grinning at her own bad joke.

"Yeah? What's that?" Sara asked, licking her lips.

"You." Tegan brought her mouth to Sara's as her hands flew to her back. Moaning into the kiss, Sara leaned in and placed her hands on Tegan's shoulders. The kiss grew heated quickly as Sara felt her own buzz kicking in. With Tegan pulling her in, Sara threw a leg over her lap to straddle Tegan. A moan left Tegan as the pulse between her thighs beat harder with the new position.

"Fuck," Tegan rasped as Sara left her lips to suck on her neck. Her hands roamed to slip up Sara's shirt, and the feeling of skin under her palms only turned her on more. Sara's hands lowered from Tegan's shoulders to massage her breasts. "Holy shit!" The sensations were enhanced by Tegan's body high as her head fell back, exposing more of her neck to Sara's mouth. Short nails clawed at Sara's ribs before unhooking her bra. She sat up to rid herself of her shirt and bra, and Tegan's lips immediately attached to her left nipple.

"Ohhh," Sara groaned, reaching to lift Tegan's top. They broke apart long enough to remove the fabric before meeting for another passionate kiss. Sara continued her work on Tegan's breasts, now only covered by a satin bra, as Tegan slid her hands up and down her thighs, gradually getting closer to her center. Pausing at the top, Tegan's fingertips slowly traced the crease between her thighs and hips. Sara's whine was muffled by Tegan's mouth.

"S-Sara." Tegan dug her fingers into Sara's flesh as lips trailed down her neck. "I want you so bad." Teeth grazed her collarbone. "Oh god!" Her head rolled back with a moan. "Oh fuck, so bad. But we're high."

"You're high. I'm relaxed," Sara countered, referring to her own tolerance and removing Tegan's bra.

"Shit. Fuck, Sara." Tegan knew she was going to have at least one hickey later, but she did not care right now. Her thumb brushed against the inner seam of Sara's pants, feeling the heat radiating. "Oh fuck," Tegan groaned as Sara bit down from the sensation. "First time...shouldn't...be high." Her words fell out between breaths, and she moved her hands to Sara's shoulders, gently nudging.

"I don't want to stop," Sara whined. While she was nowhere near stoned, the pot had dulled her usual nerves, allowing her more confidence in her tasks. "Please," she whimpered in Tegan's ear as she pinched her nipples, drawing a growl from the woman below her. Grabbing Sara by the waist, Tegan rolled them to the side so she rested on her knees between Sara's legs. She pinned Sara's arms above her head with one hand, and Sara gasped with wide eyes at the sudden change in position.

"Do you want to cum?" Tegan purred in her ear, popping open the button on Sara's jeans with her free hand. Panting, Sara nodded. She knew this behavior would have made her a little nervous if it weren't for her buzz, but right now she only felt more turned on. "Uh-uh. I want to hear you. Do you want to cum?" Tegan slowly dragged Sara's zipper down and pressed in lightly when she hit the bottom.

"Y-yes...yes." Sara's hesitation was not just from her difficulty breathing, and through her own haze of pleasure, Tegan caught it. As much as Sara's slight intoxication helped her say the word, Tegan knew that some part of her wasn't ready to actually have sex. However, that didn't mean she wasn't ready for something else, and an idea popped into Tegan's mind. She lowered Sara's right hand and placed it at the top of Sara's waistband.

"Then cum," Tegan whispered in Sara's ear. "I'm not going to do it, but I'm not going to stop you." She lifted up to look Sara in the eye. Her pupils were blown from both her high and her desire as Tegan waited for her to decide.

"You too." Sara lifted her hand to unbutton and unzip Tegan's jeans. With a small nod, Tegan slipped her hand past her underwear to her aching clit. Sara saw her eyelids twitch and looked down to see her hand already working inside her pants. Tegan followed her gaze as Sara slowly tucked her fingertips past her waistband.

"Fuck," Tegan breathed, watching Sara's hand start to move beneath the fabric. Her breast pressed against Sara's arm as Tegan took her nipple into her mouth, causing a hitch in Sara's breath as both of their hands picked up speed. Sara's free hand tangled in Tegan's hair as she rolled her hips into her hand.

"T-Tegan. Tee. Tee," Sara chanted her name as her orgasm washed through her body, and Tegan held herself up to watch the sight below her. Moaning, Sara pulled her hand out of her pants, lazily hanging it midair to avoid getting her fluids on anything. Self-control nearly shot, Tegan caught the two damp fingers in her mouth, and the taste of Sara brought on her own climax with a groan.

Lips parted and eyes wide, Sara stared as Tegan rode out her peak, sucking her fingers. She ripped her hand from Tegan's lips and replaced it with her tongue. There was a faint hint of something more to the flavor of Tegan's mouth, but not enough to discern. Tegan rested the ball of her hand against the back of the couch, keeping her fingers away from the cushion, and broke the kiss. Both breathing heavily, Sara's eyes flicked back and forth between Tegan's face and hand. Tegan smirked and put her hand in front of Sara with her index and middle fingers pointed.

"Do you want to taste me?" Tegan raised an eyebrow and bit her lower lip through her grin. Sara nodded and parted her lips as Tegan entered her mouth. She moaned as the flavor of Tegan exploded on her tongue. "Holy shit. That's fucking hot." Tegan pulled her hand away to kiss Sara again, tasting a hint of both of them. Suddenly, Tegan burst into laughter and sat back, clutching her stomach.

"How high are you?" Sara asked, thoroughly confused.

"No! I just." Tegan wiped a tear from her eye. "I just remembered the game 'Know How I Know You're Gay?', and I thought 'that's pretty fucking gay', because like, we both like the taste of pussy, and that's pretty fucking gay." Sara joined in the laughter, but it was more at Tegan than with her. "Okay, so maybe I am kind of stoned."


	12. Chapter 12

Consciousness spread over Tegan's body. The first thing her brain registered was comfort, and the second was the scent of Sara. A smile came to her lips as she nuzzled into the back of Sara's neck. After coming down from their buzzes last night, they had spent the rest of the evening talking and cuddling. Now Tegan was waking up, spooning Sara in her own bed, and her heart swelled with contentment. It was only the second time Sara had spent the night, but Tegan found herself eager to wake up like this every day.

The conversations of the previous evening played through Tegan's mind as she listened to the sounds of slumber from the girl in her arms. From nearly having sex right then on the couch, they had decided not to get high with each other until after their first time together, which led to a discussion about Sara's hesitancy to have sex. She confessed her lack of confidence due to their differences in experience, and while Tegan offered plenty of reassurances for when she was ready, Sara was not yet past her insecurity.

Her arm was draped over Sara's waist, so Tegan moved her hand to rest over Sara's heart. The slow beat of sleep lightly tapped her palm as she placed soft kisses to the skin in front her lips. As Sara's heartrate slightly increased, she let out a sigh. Tegan felt a hand cover her own, dragging it down to the breast below, then it reached back to find the nape of Tegan's neck. With two of her weaknesses again being exploited, she began gently massaging Sara's breast through the shirt she had borrowed to sleep in. Still gaining her own consciousness, Sara gasped at the feeling. She had been dreaming of similar activities, making her more sensitive to the real thing.

Tegan nipped at Sara's neck and added her tongue to her mouth's work. Sara moaned and arched her back, pressing her butt into Tegan's groin, and she was met with a hard thrust. The arm underneath Sara snaked its way across her hips, locking them in place as Tegan ground into her ass with a slow rhythm and caressed her other breast. Again, Tegan's hand was covered with another, moving it from Sara's hip to between her thighs. Pausing her hips and lips, she rested her forehead against Sara's shoulder as she pressed against Sara's top leg, raising her knee to point at the ceiling. Her fingertips gradually crept lower but stopped before she reached the warmth waiting for her.

"Sara," Tegan panted. "I really...have to pee." With a kiss to the back of Sara's neck, she hopped off the bed and raced for the bathroom.

"You suck!" Sara called after her with a frustrated groan. When she was done, Tegan crawled back into bed and hugged Sara close, pulling her back to her chest.

"All I want to do is stay in bed and snuggle you all day," she said, squeezing Sara tighter. A deep growl erupted from Tegan's stomach.

"Well, apparently your body has other plans," Sara laughed and turned around so they were facing each other.

"Nah, there's a few body parts that are with me," Tegan smiled and winked. Sara backed her head away from Tegan's with a cringe.

"Okay. We really need to brush our teeth," she said, covering her mouth with a hand. "The morning breath is not sexy." With a laugh, Tegan agreed, and they got out of the bed to start their day.

They had a quick breakfast of cereal then brushed their teeth next to each other in the bathroom. Tegan had given Sara her spare toothbrush the night before along with the tank top and boxers she had lent her. After they finished, Tegan stood behind Sara and wrapped her arms around her waist as they looked in the mirror at each other.

"I like this." She rested her chin on Sara's shoulder.

"Brushing our teeth?" Sara teased.

"Yeah," Tegan breathed and tilted her head to meet Sara's. "Like, all of it, though. Going to sleep with you. Waking up with you. Breakfast. I like having you here." Sara leaned back into the embrace.

"I like being here," Sara agreed, but then started giggling. "You're trying to U-Haul me, and I haven't even put out yet. That's how I know _you're_ gay." At first, she had been surprised by Sara's wording, but then Tegan threw her head back in a guffaw.

"Have you been sneaking hits behind my back?" she chuckled. Grinning, Sara shook her head and turned to catch her lips in a kiss.

"Mmm. Much better," Sara hummed. Deepening their kiss, Tegan put her hands on Sara's hips and backed her into the counter. She lifted Sara by the backs of her thighs and sat her on down on it, never breaking their kiss. When she was lifted, Sara instinctively wrapped her arms around Tegan as she stood between Sara's legs and scratched her short nails down Sara's thighs.

"Damn," Tegan groaned, breaking the kiss. "You make me feel like a teenage boy. I can't keep my hands off you."

"Well, I'm glad you're not," Sara told her. "You're a _much_ better kisser." She leaned in for another kiss, moaning into Tegan's mouth. Tegan dug her hands into Sara's flesh to keep them from roaming to places they weren't yet allowed.

"Okay," Tegan broke away again once she was out of breath. "As much as I could stand here and make out with you all day, I was actually wondering if you had plans for today?"

"Just making out with you all day." Sara slipped her fingers through Tegan's hair and pulled her in. Her assertiveness momentarily cleared Tegan's mind of all other thoughts, and Tegan grabbed Sara's ass, pulling her closer until their fronts were flush with each other. The heat from Sara's core warmed Tegan's stomach through their thin night clothes. With shaky hands, Tegan gently took Sara's wrists, removing them, and stepped back just enough to part their bodies and their lips.

"Fuck, Sara," she breathed. "You have to stop doing that." Uncertainty wove through Sara's features and mind.

"But I," she paused, "I thought you liked that."

"Oh, I do," Tegan eased while catching her breath, noting the slight panic in Sara's tone. "I _really_ do."

"Then why do you want me to stop?" Sara asked.

"Because," Tegan pecked Sara's lips, "I like it too much. I don't want to lose control, but..." She rested her forehead on Sara's sternum before giving her another kiss and continuing. "You make me want to lose control." Tegan's chest still rose and fell erratically as Sara had a realization. While she knew that Tegan was always turned on by their kissing and touching, she had thought her arousal was the same that anyone would feel from the same activities. However, behind the concern in Tegan's eyes was something that could not be mistaken. Tegan didn't just want sex; she wanted _Sara_.

"What about me makes you want to lose control?" Sara pressed. A feeling of warmth rushed through Sara's veins as Tegan's expression no longer masked her pure desire. She leaned up to Sara's ear.

"Everything," Tegan whispered. Sara's breath hitched at the confession. She had never let herself feel so wanted by Tegan, and she wondered how long she had been shying away from it. When she pulled away, Tegan still had the glint in her eye, making Sara feel sexier than she had ever felt.

"Maybe," she said. Sara put her hands behind her back, taking Tegan's with and bringing their chests back together. "Maybe you _should_ lose control." The concern came back to Tegan's face as she bit her lip to keep from biting Sara's.

"Sara," she whined. "You just said last night that you're still unsure. I don't want you to think you have to do anything just because I'm all horny and shit."

"I don't think that." Sara left Tegan's hands to rest hers on Tegan's shoulders. "And I think I'm going to be nervous until it's not new anymore." Her fingers combed through the hair at the back of Tegan's head. "They say 'practice makes perfect', right?" Tegan started to lightly stroke Sara's sides and took a deep breath.

"Are you sure?" Tegan locked eyes with Sara to watch for any sign of hesitation or fear.

"Yes," Sara nodded before bringing her lips to Tegan's ear. "Teach me."


End file.
